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Natalie stops and faces me. “I do.” She laughs.
It does look a lot like a place where they would hold weddings.
She leans in and I decide there’s no harm in one kiss.
She softly kisses me.
She smiles as we pull away, and I try my best to smile back.
I’m surprised at my disappointment. A part of me thought there would be a spark or something there, but it was just… pleasant.
I spot Tiffany next to one of the cameras, a giant smile on her face.
The director yells cut, and Natalie gives me a wave as she walks away. I don’t think she felt anything either.
At least I won’t wonder what could’ve been between us because at it turns out, there’s not much.
As Alex and Macey touch me up ahead of the next date, I can hear the helicopter blades whipping through the air. I tap my leg against the ground.
They really have scheduled as many activities as possible into each day.
The next hour is a blur as we set up and film the first part of the date where I tell Fiona what the plan is and we exchange some obligatory small talk.
They put us into the helicopter and I cling to the seat, my hands slick with sweat.
The helicopter rises higher and higher in the air, and I can feel my nervous system go into overdrive.
Fiona talks on and on about how beautiful the view is, but I keep my gaze firmly in my lap.
My phone beeps. I’m not surprised when I see it’s one of the producers telling me to try not to look like I’m going to throw up, as if that’s something I can control.
I take a deep breath and look at the ceiling. Fiona notices my discomfort and takes my hand, gently talking to me throughout the remainder of the flight.
We finally land, but I still feel sick.
“I’m sorry they made you do this,” she whispers as the camera crew get ready for us to exit the helicopter.
I’m taken aback by her sincerity.
“Thank you.” I try to breathe through it, but another wave of nausea hits.
On planes, I’m fine, but helicopters… not so much.
I try to distract myself. I look at Fiona. She’s clearly beautiful. All the women here are, but I still can’t wrap my head around why someone like her, or any of them really, would be here.
“So why are you here?”
Her eyes go wide. “Oh.” She glances back at the cameras that are still being set up. “Honestly?”
I nod my head, still trying to keep my food down.
“To get out of my comfort zone. I know the likelihood of falling in love on a TV show is slim, but maybe I’ll make friends or just experience new things.” She shrugs.
She leans forward, but just as she’s about to say something, the crew interrupts us.
I notice that when the camera light turns on, her demeanor shifts, almost like she’s putting on a persona. It seems to happen with most of the girls.
If I were here for love, it would probably bother me. What about getting to know someone for real?
