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Now I feared the thing we had been craving for so long might be the one thing that destroyed us.
My parents didn’t ask any questions when Shane dropped me off at their house. With all the tears streaming down my face, I knew my mum could tell Alex and I must have had a fight. Wordlessly, she led me to my old bedroom and helped me get into bed. “Once you’ve cried all your tears and want to talk about it, I’ll be downstairs waiting,” she cooed, kissing my forehead.
Little Bean. What do we do?
Chapter Twenty
Alex
The moment Nat left the hotel room, I wanted to chase after her. Why had I even said those words? I fucking knew I was talking shit. Nat was unlike any woman I’d ever known. Of course, she hadn’t planned this!
I’d seen how ill she’d been with food poisoning that week. My cock had been so keen to be inside her after so long though, that I didn’t even consider that the contraceptive pill might not be working. Fuck! This was all my fault!
I slammed my fist hard against the wall, enjoying the pain that it caused. I fucking deserved it and much more after how I’d just reacted.
Opening the door, I stood in the corridor, hoping to see her, to beg for her to come back. I’m not going to run after you this time, Nat. Who was I trying to fucking fool? I’d always chase after her. She was my whole fucking heart!
Nat was nowhere to be seen, though. Shit! I hoped she was alright! She had to be alright, dammit! Anxiety flooded my body. What if she was alone and something happened? The hotel was overrun with my fans and not all of them liked her. I rushed to find someone on my security team. The guys and I had the whole top floor of the hotel to ourselves for safety. When I found Ben, I called out to him.
“Ben! Have you seen Nat? We had a fight and she left in quite a state. Did she come this way?”
“No, but I’ll give a shout out to the other guys. They might have seen her.” Nat was carrying my child. What if something had happened to them? How could I have been so fucking stupid?
“Okay, I’ll check downstairs at reception!”
“You can’t do that alone…you’ll get mobbed! Shane will fire my ass!”
“I don’t fucking care! I need to find my wife!” I yelled. The commotion made Cody and Masen come out of their rooms.
“Alex, man! What the fuck is going on? I’m trying to sleep!” Cody yawned before he finally took me in. “Shit! What’s happened? Are you okay?”
“Nat and I had a fight. She stormed off and I can’t find her!” My voice didn’t sound like my own; it was laced with panic and fear.
“Hey, I’m sure she’s okay,” Mason muttered, touching my shoulder. “She’s probably in the hotel somewhere. Why don’t we go down to the bar and wait there until Ben has some news?” Heading to the bar in my state wasn’t a good idea, but if I went back to my hotel room, all I’d see was the pain in Nat’s eyes…my careless words slicing her apart.
“I’ll do a call out now, Alex. We’ll find her,” Ben promised, picking up his radio. “I’ll come and find you in the bar.”
Nodding, I followed Mason toward our private bar. Cody needed to put some pants on, but quickly caught up with us.
“What did you fight about? You two never fight!” Mason mused, grabbing a whiskey. Fuck, my mouth began to water at the thought of alcohol on my tongue. Just one shot! The demon inside me purred. It was never one fucking shot, though.
“It’s a bit personal, but I was a total asshole!” I admitted, looking around the room, anywhere except the spirit bottles. I wouldn’t break. I’d come this far with my alcoholism. Taking one sip now wasn’t an option. I had to be strong enough for Nat and our child growing inside her.
Closing my eyes, I pleaded to the universe. You can take all my fame, fortune, and health. I’d give it all away in a heartbeat if it meant this baby would live. There must be something looking over me. It had given me this incredible career and even found my impossible dream, Nat. Could it hear my plea now? Please let this child be okay and live!
Once we’d taken a seat, Ben came rushing over. “Shane has her. He’s driving Nat to her parents.” Fuck, that was over an hour drive. I didn’t like the idea of her being so far away from me. You should have thought about that before you were an asshole! Still, relief flooded me. Nat was safe, which was all that mattered.
My band members sat with me until the late afternoon even though I wasn't much company; I hardly spoke. When Diego arrived, he asked if we could be alone. He was about to rip me a new asshole, I could tell by the look in his eyes.
“You stupid fucker!” Diego sighed, crossing his arms. “Please tell me you haven’t been drinking!?” He gasped, looking at all the empty bottles and glasses on the bar. “Is that why Nat left?”
“I’ve been on orange juice all day. I’ll admit, I did almost take a sip of Cody’s whiskey when he wasn’t looking, but I stopped myself.”
“What the fuck happened? Shane said Nat’s at her parents’.”
“I’ve really fucked up this time,” I whispered, my eyes wet as Diego took a seat next to me. “I really hurt her.”
“It would take a lot to break you and Nat, Alex. I’m sure you two will be able to sort it out.”
