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He looks like he wants to argue, but instead he gives a soft nod and gestures to the bed. “You need to get some sleep then. We can worry about food tomorrow.”
There was a time when I would’ve jumped in that bed and pulledhim down right along with me, but now I’m frozen in place, unable to close the distance. The thought of such an intimate position has my mind racing back to Konstantin, and he’s the last fucking thing I want to be thinking about, but I also can’t stop myself from asking, “Where is he?”
There’s no need for me to explain whoheis. Matvey sighs and says, “He’s being held at his mansion.”
“And then what?”
“I’m going to slowly kill him and his brother.”
I’m not bothered by what he’s said. Not too long ago violence would’ve upset me, when the thought of the man I love killing someone wouldn’t have sat well with me, but those days are long gone. I always knew my brothers and Matvey were involved in the Safronov Bratva, but they were all very careful to keep me as far away from it as possible. I never really knew what they did or what they were capable of. I’m not the only thing that’s changed drastically in the last two years. They run the Melnikov Bratva now, and based on what I saw tonight, they’re damn good at it. They’ve become ruthless, hardened killers who aren’t afraid to get their hands bloody, and that’s exactly who I need them to be. My concern isn’t that the man I love is planning on torturing two men to death. My only concern is that it somehow might not get to happen.
“What if they escape?”
“They won’t. They’re heavily guarded and chained up. No way in hell are they getting free.”
“What about everyone else that’s involved in this?”
“We’ve been working on a plan for a while now. You know Danil, there’s always a plan and then a few others in case the first one doesn’t work.”
I give a soft laugh because it’s so accurate.
“We can talk more about this tomorrow. I don’t want you worrying about any of it.” He closes the distance and gently cups my face. “All you need to know is that you never have to see them again and that they will regret everything that was done to you.”
It’s enough for now, so I let it go, because he’s right, I’m fucking exhausted. I haven’t had an actual restful night of sleep since the last night we spent together.
“Tell me what you need from me,malishka.” He kisses my forehead, keeping his lips pressed against my skin for several seconds. “If you want me to leave, I’ll leave and stand guard outside your door. If you want me to sit in the chair and watch over you while you sleep, I will. If you want me to hold you, I will. I’ll do anything you want.”
A big part of me wants to curl up in bed with his strong body wrapped around mine, but when I start to think about how close our bodies would be, a fear starts to take root deep within me, and I’m shaking my head no before I can even voice it.
“Can you sit in the chair?” I don’t meet his eyes when he pulls back because I don’t want to see the disappointment in them. “I don’t want to be alone.”
“Look at me, baby.”
He waits until my eyes meet his, and instead of the disappointment I feared, there’s nothing but love in them.
“You have no idea how happy it makes me just to be in the same room as you. I will happily sleep in the chair or on the floor or wherever the hell you’ll allow me to be. I just want to be near you, Alina. That’s all I need.”
I nod, willing myself to not start crying again. He leads me to the large bed, pulling back the covers for me, and when I crawl in and he tucks me in, I curl onto my side and hug one of the pillows against my chest. Everything smells like him, and the comforting citrusy scent of Matvey’s cologne mixes so perfectly with his own unique scent and I can’t help but press my face against the pillowcase and breathe him in as deeply as I can.
He kisses my temple, and when he starts to stand up, I grab his hand, holding him in place. “Wait, please. Can you sit here instead?”
He smiles down at me and brushes back the hair that’s fallen across my cheek. “I’ll sit here as long as you need me.”
He cups my hand in both of his, stroking my skin with his thumb,and the feel of his scarred palms is so damn comforting that my eyes start to drift closed. I can’t resist the feel of a comfortable bed, warm blankets, and the security of Matvey standing watch and keeping me safe. I’m asleep in minutes, and it feels like I’ve just closed my eyes when I’m right back in that fucking bedroom with Konstantin.
“Did I say you could eat yet?” he growls at me, fisting my hair and lifting my head from the plate of food he’s set on the floor in front of me.
“No, sir,” I whisper, so fucking hungry my stomach is in knots.
“You want your mouth stuffed with something?” He grins and unbuttons his pants. “Then you can stuff it with this.”
He forces himself into my mouth as I choke and gag around him. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. He’s going to do what he wants to me, and there’s not a goddamn thing I can do to stop it. I scream in my head, loud, ragged cries that are never allowed to leave my lips. He uses me, wearing me down until there’s nothing left of the woman I once was. I’m no longer Alina. I’m nothing except his pet, his unwilling toy, and he’s never going to let me go.
When he’s close, I start to gag again, choking and growing lightheaded because he won’t let me get a breath. I know I’m going to pass out, and I know he won’t care when I do, and I just wish it would all end because I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
“Alina!”
Matvey’s ragged voice pulls me from my dream. My throat hurts, even though I know I haven’t made a sound, and when I dart my eyes around the room, it takes me a second to realize I’m not still being held by Konstantin. I’m safe. I’m with Matvey, and I’m safe.
