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“Your parents sound like good people.”
Blaze is quiet for a moment, and I wonder if I’ve said something wrong. In the small space of the plane, through our headphones, I clearly hear his sigh as a smile appears on his lips.
“I wish I’d known both my parents better, but they died when I was a teen, and the last thing I wanted to do was hang with them at that time in my life. Now, I’d give anything to have a family dinner. My mom was amazing. She was a free spirit, the one who held us all together. My dad was harder, but she calmed him.”
“I can’t imagine losing my family even if they drive me crazy most of the time.” I reach out and pat his hand. I want to comfort him even if he doesn’t seem like a man who needs comforted.
“I honestly thought I wanted nothing to do with my family, that they were nothing more than anchors to hold me under. But I’ve talked more to my brothers in the last few weeks than I have in years.” He pauses as he takes in a deep breath. “Gramps was great, and I lost so much time with him. I’m starting to think I don’t want to lose more time with my brothers. Maybe I was always running when I didn’t need to. We can make anyone a villain if we want to, but at the end of the day, it might be ourselves who are the bad guys.”
“Everyone has layers to them. Sometimes it takes strength to look beneath those layers to the true person lying beneath,” I quietly tell him.
He turns and looks at me, and I feel so exposed in this moment that I want to take it back, but can’t. The longer I’m with this man — my first love — the more I want to thank my siblings for bringing us together. I don’t know how this adventure will end, but I already know I’m growing as a person because of it. I can see myself differently than I did the day before.
“Do you want to see beneath my layers?” he asks.
“Yes,” I say without thinking.
“You might get the chance.”
This might be the most real conversation the two of us have ever shared, and it scares me, but also thrills me. The summerwe spent together was all about fun. This is deeper. This is something I don’t know how to put feelings to.
Before I can respond to his last comment, he points out some mountains in the distance. We’re getting closer to the getaway. Maybe we don’t need to continue down this road we’re on. It doesn’t feel that way, though. I feel like it’s a missed opportunity.
Blaze navigates the plane to a runway ahead and my throat hurts from holding back all I want to say to him. We only have a short window, and I need to decide how I want it to be. I can hold back... or I can let go. Maybe I can simply give him a small piece of me. He already holds one piece, what’s one more?
The plane hits the ground and my nerves come to life. What will we do next? Ineedto let go. I make my decision before he helps me off the plane and we both climb into a waiting vehicle.
We’re silent as we drive to the remote resort. I’m afraid if I break the silence the magic of the moment will be broken. I simply decide to pretend I’m Lara Croft. I silence the professor in my brain telling me I’m a fool. I want this night with my old lover. I want to have it, and I assure myself I can walk away without getting burned. Even if I’m singed a little, what’s one more scar? It won’t kill me... or at least I don’t think it will.
Chapter Seven
Blaze
Life moves forward no matter how hard you try to slow it down, a truth I learned long ago. I always appreciated the course of action taken by a person that led someone from one journey to the next. I was never happy simply sitting idly and watching the world go by.
Even knowing this, I want to slow time down and take in every moment of this trip with Cori. I want to show her my world and learn more about hers. What is wrong with me? This is quickly turning into something I’m not prepared for. That plane ride nearly undid me with the smell of her perfume drifting to me and her sighs of delight as we flew over different terrains. What have I gotten myself into? More importantly, why don’t I want out of it?
From the moment we left, to the drive we’re taking down the long road into the resort, I’ve been a wild tangle of nerves. The resort’s set back for maximum privacy and stunning views. I thought a lot about my time here over the years... not with my family, but on my own.
“This place is incredible,” Cori says. Her window’s down and the smell of fresh mountain air drifts into the vehicle.
“It really doesn’t get much better than this. I don’t mind city life. I thrive at times in it. But I love coming to places that are away from the hustle and bustle of the world, where I actually hear the sounds of nature.”
“There are people all over the world who never get to experience anything like this,” she tells me, shock in her voice.
“I bet you learned a lot, being a history professor.” The conversation helps ease my nerves. In her eagerness to be here, she’s open and far looser than the professor I met yesterday. This was the right place to bring her.
“I’m fascinated by history. The more I study, the more I realize I was born in the wrong time,” she says.
This shocks me. “You don’t like plumbing?” I ask with a laugh.
She joins me in laughter. “I adore plumbing, hot showers, and toothpaste on the grocery store shelves. I’m even happy with Amazon, having anything I want delivered to my front door. But I think we lose a lot of ourselves in the convenience of an easy life.”
“Which era would you choose?”
She smiles. “The twenties,” she says without hesitation.
“Why the twenties?” This conversation fascinates me.
