Page 63 of It Kills Me


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He stilled at the question, sitting back in his chair as he stared at me. “That’s a problem for another day.”

We returned to eating in comfortable silence. Utensils tapped against the dishes. It was quiet, the apartment absolutely silent, the open windows showing the lights of the beautiful city.

“Have you ever been in a relationship?”

“Yes.” He spoke immediately, like that answer was obvious.

“Like, a serious one?”

“Yes.” His answer was quick again. “It was a couple years ago.”

“How long were you together?”

“About two years.”

“Why did it end?”

He seemed to have lost his appetite because he stopped eating. “She wasn’t right for me.”

“So you ended it.”

“Should have ended it sooner. A lot sooner.” His tone was different now, clipped and annoyed.

I felt bad for stepping into unwanted territory. “I’m sorry I mentioned it.”

“It’s fine,” he said. “It wouldn’t be right to ask you questions about your life and not expect you to ask questions about mine.” He grabbed his fork and started to eat again. “Have you been in a serious relationship?”

“Define serious.”

“You loved them.”

“Then no.”

“Really?” he asked in surprise.

“My relationships have all been a couple months here and there. As I said before, it never gets serious because I tell them about the family business, and then they opt out. Can’t see a future with someone associated with that kind of life.”

“And that’s never made you reconsider your career prospects?” he asked, his tone hardening.

“Even if I did, the association is still there. My father is still a notorious criminal, and no one wants him as a father-in-law or a grandfather to their children. So I may as well embrace the family business since it’s going to affect my personal relationships anyway.”

His eyes remained hard.

“And I haven’t dated anyone from this world because I’m not supposed to mix business with pleasure, so I can’t find anyone that way either. I’ll probably be alone for the rest of my life, hopping from bed to bed, and they’ll go off to marry someone more suitable.”

He watched me, his dinner abandoned.

“Anyway…” I dug my fork into my spaghetti. “That got heavy.”

He stared at me like he wanted to say something, but words weren’t forthcoming.

I ate my spaghetti, but the tension never dissipated.

“Have you ever spoken to your mother?”

“No.”

“No idea who she is?”

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