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The sheets tangled around me like a web of insecurities, but the empty bed beside me only served as a constant reminder of his absence.It still smelled like sex, like our last passionate night here before everything blew up.
Worst of all?I’d realized when I’d returned to camp that I didn’t even have his phone number.The camp’s no cell phone policy was strict enough that we usually left our phones in the cabin, and there was no reason to call each other when we lived together.
I couldn’t even communicate with him.
“God, I miss him,” I whispered into the darkness, clutching a pillow to my chest, trying to fill the void left by Aiden’s warm embrace.My mind replayed the moments we’d spent together, the heated passion and tender caresses that felt like a dream.Yet, the reality of our situation gnawed at me, leaving me wounded and craving reassurance.
As free as he seemed at camp, the reality was that Aiden was tied down, burdened by his family's expectations.He didn’t have the freedom to fall in love, to be with some random guy he met at summer camp.They’d accepted he was bisexual, but still expected him to end up with a woman.A wealthy woman.
I wasn’t sure when I fell asleep, but I woke as morning light filtered through the window.I rolled over to find Aiden standing in the doorway.His eyes were rimmed red, his face etched with pain.He looked like a ghost of himself.The carefree, confident man I’d fallen for had vanished.The weight of his family’s strict expectations was visible in the slump of his broad shoulders.
“Jay,” he began, his voice barely above a whisper, “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too.I didn’t mean to confront your grandfather.He started it.”I realized how juvenile that sounded and shook my head, pulling myself up to sit on the edge of the bed.Aiden said nothing, his eyes downcast, avoiding mine, and I cleared my throat.“I mean, he asked me to come into his study, when I wanted to find you…”
“No, I know it’s not your fault.I’m sorry I yelled at you.The thing is, they’re toxic and I don’t want to bring you into their bullshit,” Aiden interrupted me, dragging his hands through his hair.“I don’t want you to end up like my mom.”
“What do you mean?”I asked, frowning.
“I don’t know,” he huffed.“It’s so fucked up.You don’t deserve any of this.”
I sighed heavily, standing and walking over to him.My fingers itched to touch him, to ease the stiffness in his back, but I was afraid he might brush me off.
“You don’t deserve any of this, either,” I said, shoving my hands in my pockets to keep myself from touching him.
He hesitated, visibly struggling to find the right words.“I…” Aiden paused, taking a deep breath.“I can’t, Jay.”
“Okay,” I replied quietly, the ache in my chest growing heavier.It wasn’t okay.Nothing was okay.
After Aiden left, disappearing around a corner, I gathered my belongings and moved back into the cabin with Ben and Parker.They looked at me curiously as I tossed my things back onto my old bed, then flopped on the little couch with a sigh.
“Hey, Jay,” Parker greeted me, a concerned look in his eyes.“You okay?”
I forced a smile, hoping it would be enough to allay his worries.“We broke up.But it was just a summer fling, right?”
“Alright,” Parker said, clearly not convinced.“If you ever want to talk about it, you know where to find me.”
“Thanks, Parker,” I replied, grateful for his support.But deep down, I knew that the only person who could mend my broken heart was Aiden.And until he was ready to face his demons, there was nothing anyone else could do to help me.Ben looked at me, concern in his eyes, then stood and walked over to the couch, handing me a book.
“I’m reading this series.Can’t fix things, but it’s a nice escape,” he said, sliding me the book.“Aiden is hooked and already on book two.And I shouldn’t have mentioned Aiden.”
I blushed as I read the back cover of Mages of Aleron, imagining Aiden reading a smutty gay romance.
“Who needs books?I’ve got an even better distraction!”Parker said, standing, too.“We have to prepare for Session 3 campers, anyway, and I have ideas.”
“Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to stop Parker’s ridiculous ideas from hurting anyone,” Ben intoned in a dramatic voice.
“Fuck off,” Parker said.“All of my ideas are pure brilliance.”
I smiled a little as I looked toward the two men, appreciating their efforts to make me smile.“Okay, what’s this brilliant idea?”
Parker leaned in conspiratorially.“We’re going to set up the cabin like it’s haunted.You know, cobwebs, creepy sounds, flickering lights… The whole nine yards.But we have to pretend not to notice to sell it.”
“I’m not sure if that’s fun, or traumatic,” I said.
“Traumatic for sure,” Ben muttered, opening his book back up.
“Oh, don’t worry, we’ll tell them, eventually.Especially if anyone cries,” Parker assured me.He grabbed my hand and dragged me outside and down the path to the cabin our campers stayed in.On one of the empty beds, there was a pile of what looked like Halloween decorations.
