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“I think you scared Marcus enough that he won’t try anything stupid while we’re gone. They’ll be okay.” That’s where Cam was right now. Marcus was surprised to see Mack dropping her off instead of me. According to Mack, they had a man-to-man conversation, and Marcus agreed to whatever that was.
“Give her my mom’s number before we leave. If anything happens, she can take her there.”
“I don’t want to bother your mother.”
“Trust me. Mia likes being bothered with Cam.”
Laying here with Macklen naked was a different type of high. It was the intimacy it created as his fingers caressed my skin. We admired each other’s energy and raw presence. It was so peaceful.
“Now that I have time and options, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do.”
“You know you don’t have to do shit if you don’t want to,” Mack assured me.
“I know, but I’m not good at doing nothing. I’ve been thinking about what makes me happy, and I want to become a doula. I think.”
“What the fuck is that?”
“It’s like a labor assistant. They provide support for women or couples during pregnancy and childbirth. I didn’t have that during my pregnancy. I’d enjoy helping other women.”
“I can see that.”
“It’s just a thought right now. I don’t know.”
“If you want it. Go get that shit,” Mack sealed his reassurance and support with a kiss on my temple.
I fell into deep thought thinking about it. I wanted to become a doula because, many times in my pregnancy, I felt alone and hopeless. I was afraid and often questioned how I would do it all. Then I became a mom and realized that I could do many things.
“You want more kids?” Mack asked, seemingly out of nowhere.
“Where did that come from?” I attempted to sit up, but Mack casually held me in place.
“Relax. I see how you are with Serenity, so I asked.”
“I love kids,” I smiled, thinking of their innocence. They weren’t corrupted like adults. They were genuine and good to you if you were good to them. “I wouldn’t mind it. My first pregnancy was stressful. I didn’t enjoy it the way I would’ve liked.”
“Stressful because of Marcus?”
“Yes,” I replied, but he didn’t continue the conversation. He stroked my skin in deep thought about something. “Do you want kids?”
“I already have one.”
His response made my eyes water. It wasn’t just his words but how he backed them up with actions. Mack would get down on the floor and play dolls if she wanted to. When she was cranky and unable to express her big emotions, he’d wrap her in his arms until she was calm. The way he’d take her to get pasta simply because she asked. Macklen showed up for Camdyn in ways her father didn’t. That alone topped the list of reasons why I loved him.
“You know what I mean. A child of your own. Biologically,” I specified so he couldn’t weasel out of my question.
“Yeah, I want to see you pregnant with my baby. Nose spread across your face, waddling to the kitchen. I want all that.”
“There is nothing cute about a pregnant nose. Mine took over my face with Cam. I didn’t even want to leave the house. I was huge.” I grimaced, thinking back to all the weight I had gained. Some women carried well and looked cute while pregnant. That was not my story, thanks to preeclampsia. My skin grew dark, and fluid buildup had me looking like the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka.
“You were pregnant. It’s a difference.”
“It didn’t feel like it.”
“So, are you’re going to give me a baby Skylar?”
I could see him smiling, hearing the baby’s heartbeat for the first time, and smothering my growing belly with more love and affection than I had ever witnessed.
“One day. I’d be down for that,” My honesty caught him off guard. He likely expected me to shy away from the question, but I was learning to trust Macklen Meraux. After all, I didn’t have a reason not to, which made me feel safe enough to be vulnerable.
