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“No,” he says, hopping up on the altar. He quickly takes the vial and swallows down the contents as he lays down.
Retaking my position at the head of the table, I once again say the words for the spell, but this time I’m ready for the side effects. I don’t pull away when Lynx’s body begins heating; instead, I lean into his body and move my hands onto his chest to brace myself while closing my eyes. This time, instead of a falling sensation, I feel myself getting pulled into darkness.
Opening my eyes, all I see is emptiness. My own breathing is the only sound I can hear. I flex my toes, and I feel some type of liquid at my feet, but since I can’t see, I can only hope it’s water. Before my mother’s murder, I had been in a sensory deprivation tank once. It was Dr. Fisk’s idea when I started having problems with sleeping and headaches. She finally talked Mom into letting me try it since it was a more “natural” solution.
That’s what this reminds me of; although I’m standing instead of lying down in a coffin of sweaty tears left by prior patients. I highly doubted they cleaned those that often.
“Lynx?”
I cautiously take a step and listen to my own breathing as I try to remain calm. “Okay, Rez, you’re here for Lynx. Find, Restore, and Save. Find, Restore, and Save,” I repeat the mantra over and over as I slowly take another step.
“Lynx? Where are you?” I ask. My heartbeat starts pounding as my mind races with other thoughts. Will I be able to leave this place? What if I can’t find Lynx?
I hear someone sniffle, and I pause mid step as I slowly turn around. A faint light shines down, highlighting a young Lynx sitting down with his knees drawn up to his chest.
“Lynx?”
He rocks back and forth and occasionally wipes the tears from his eyes. He’s probably no more than ten-years-old, and he’s wearing our old friendship bracelet, tattered pants, no shirt or shoes.
I start walking his way, and a large cage slams down over Lynx, jarring the floor. I barely keep myself from falling when I gaze up and see the bars of the cages fill in with solid blocks.
“NO!” I scream and run over to the cage. “Lynx! Can you hear me?” Pressing my ear against one of the cool stones, I can barely make out his crying.
“Ugh, now how do I get you out of there?” I ponder as I lean my head back and look up at the monstrosity before me. I close my eyes and let out a frustrated sigh, slapping the cage before me. “FUCK!”
Determined, I wipe my eyes aggressively and turn my attention back to the bricked cage before me. Running my eyes briefly over it, I notice one brick looks lighter than the others, so I step back to get a better look. All the bricks are a dark gray, but there are different symbols on them in black. There’s one block with black writing that looks like a lightning bolt, and it has turned white. Out of curiosity, I run my hand over the shape and notice a warm sensation.
Hmm.
The block next to it looks like a chain with interlocking circles, so I touch it and feel the block warm while the black outline turns white as well. The block starts vibrating under my palm, so I quickly step back as I hold my breath and watch the two stones glow brighter and then they suddenly flash red.
“What the f—”
Lynx’s scream penetrates through the blocks, and I run back to the wall.
“I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry, Lynx!” I cry out. “I don’t know what to do.”
The blocks slowly fade back to their original black, and Lynx’s cries die down to sniffles. Feeling defeated, I sit down in the liquid, not caring what I’m sitting in anymore, and drop my head in between my legs.
“I don’t know what to do, Lynx,” I sigh. I glance up at a block by my foot, noticing a chain symbol, and drop my head once again. “You’re trapped in a fucking box behind probably the worst man-made memory matching game ever.”
I dig my fingers into my hair and scalp and try to think of what I can do. Memory Game? I jump to my feet and begin studying the different blocks. There are different symbols alright, but some of them repeat, and most of them I recognize from our past together. The question is, how complicated is this and how much pain will I cause Lynx if I fuck up?
Please forgive me if I mess up, Lynx.
I press on the block with the chain symbol and then the corresponding one. It flashes green quickly, but then turns black, causing Lynx to let out a yelp.
“Shit, sorry.” I start pacing as I think out loud. “Okay, so obviously I have to find matches, but something about that was wrong. What could have been wrong? The…” My eyes travel over the blocks again and I see one that makes me think of the first time I met Lynx. “Could it be in the wrong order?”
I reach for the block I just saw, but something else catches my eye. It’s not a memory that I would have of him, but it would probably be his first memory. There’s a block with two Lynxes and a kitten sleeping on the ground, and this time I don’t hesitate to press it. It lights up and I walk around the cage looking for the matching block and press that once I see it.
The block glows green and then disappears, revealing a hole that allows me to see Lynx. A sob leaves me as tears of joy gather in my eyes. “Okay, Lynx. I’m coming for you. I know what to do now.”
The first five blocks are tricky because they are from a time before Lynx came to me. There are blocks where both of his parents are reading to him; his father in the forest with him; his mom healing a boo-boo; and all of them crying while holding hands. The only consolation about picking the wrong ones is that at least I had them matching and Lynx didn’t cry out.
Once I get to the point he showed up on my doorstep, it becomes easier to match up the blocks. Knowing what my mother did to him turns out to be a blessing because they’re on some blocks too. The spells she cast, the helicopter penis block from when he first turned into a boy, our first kiss, their talk the night she died, and even when I saw him in Purgatory. It’s as if I’m walking down memory lane with him. Each touch to a stone, the heat seeps into my palms and I feel more alive, more aware of all the stuff Lynx and I have been through. It’s amazing what we’ve gone through, and we haven’t fallen apart completely.
There’s only a few blocks left when I reach for the matching one that has a woman that resembles my mother standing at bars and Lynx in a cage. Was this in the dreamscape? When did this take place? How? My breath hitches as I press my hand against the block. Does this mean that Ryker really did see my mother… my dead mother? The only person to answer this question is Lynx.
