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“Nope. But heisworking this weekend. I heard him speaking to his boss. So if he’s working, he can’t get into too much trouble, right?”
“I know you care about him,” I said, dragging my hair into a bun at the nape of my neck. “He’s your brother.”
“Yeah, so? He wouldn’t do shit for me, Jess if the situation were reversed. Trust me.” Ellie’s eyes narrowed as she shook her head. “He’s been like a stranger since Dad died.”
I fell silent then, knowing this was one subject that hurt Ellie. I still didn’t know much about it, but I knew she needed to talk it out. I think the whole family did, but what could I say? They couldn’t afford therapy, and I couldn’t afford to give it to them.
Logan treated it himself with drugs and alcohol, and his mum threw herself into work to avoid what was really going on at home. Ellie was the only one that had a job and partial sanity.
“If I can help in any way—” I began, as Ellie cut me off.
“Yes, you can! Dump Carlisle. I’ll sleep so much better tonight.”
I rolled my eyes as she leaned forward, clicking play on Gossip Girl.
“Let me fantasise about Chuck Bass.” She winked, but I saw the sadness in her eyes.
I want to help her, but I don’t know how, and that’s a shit feeling.
“You can’t fix the world, honey,” Ellie said, interrupting my thoughts. “But youcancome out with me this weekend.”
“That might be a good idea. As long as you promise not to get in that state again,” I warned, referring back to her drunken self last weekend.
“I won’t.”
We’ll see.
Chapter Eight
JESSICA
College dragged so much on Fridays. There was only so much I could take in, and my literature class bored me to tears.
I loved a good book, but it was the dissecting of each sentence, the structure, the analysing of repetition… blah blah blah.
Boring.
As I listened to the lecturer talk about poetry and rhyme, I found myself gazing out of the window which oversaw the car park. It was mainly for the staff and visitors, but students had taken over. People were parked on grassy banks and up the pavements, with no space left in sight. My car was down there somewhere, sandwiched in between a Range Rover and a Mini.
I lifted my eyes to the horizon, hidden by towers of flats, and beyond that, the ruins of Nottingham Castle. It was strange to think I lived in a town with a castle. The worst thing was I knew nothing about it. I wasn’t a fan of history, and despite going there on school trips, I couldn’t recall a single fact. Nottingham was steeped in history, and I felt guilty for not paying attention.
Hard to pay attention to the past when your future looks so… uncertain.
I’d arranged to go out with Ellie tonight, and I was supposed to meet Carlisle tomorrow for a ‘chat’. He was already worried—texting me to ask me what the problem was, why couldn’t we talk over the phone, etcetera. The thing was, I was over being his second thought, and if he thought he could do better than me, then why didn’t he? I was tired of being his little woman.
ELLIE:
Four. Hours. To. Go.
JESSICA:
I’ve got three hours. Shall I wait in Starbucks for you?
ELLIE:
No, go to mine. Start getting ready!
JESSICA:
