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"Supposed to have church tonight, you know," Reeve offered and I felt myself sigh.
Of course.
How could I forget that?
"Think Reign will understand trading one meeting for pussy," Cyrus piped in.
"Should probably call him though," Reeve added, always being the more serious of the two.
"Right," I agreed. "Thanks for this, guys," I said as I headed out, reaching for my phone as I moved outside.
I called Reign, hearing Ferryn and Fallon having some kind of screaming match in the background, met by the sounds of their newest sibling, giving me a rare opportunity to catch Reign only half paying attention and therefore more accommodating. By the end of the two minute call, I was getting a headache from the yelling and I was off the hook for this one church under the condition: just this one fucking time.
With that, I left my bike at the clubhouse and took one of the cars, heading out to stock up on food and then some clothes for Bethany. I grabbed a couple extra sets of sheets and heavy blankets, knowing she would be sweating but also more cold than she had ever been in her life. Like the flu on steroids. I grabbed extra Advil and anti-nausea chews and figured that was about as good as it was going to get.
Nothing was actually going to help.
But at least it would make things somewhat easier.
I climbed out of the car and made my way up to my apartment with about fifteen bags slung up my arms and six bottles of Pedialyte against my chest.
I had barely gotten the door unlocked and pushed it open before I heard the sound.
It wasn't quite crying but not as pathetic as whimpering either- just a pained, constant sound that I was familiar enough with to know.
It had started a little sooner than I expected, leaving me to wonder how long she had been using and how much. I should have gotten that fucking information before I left.
Oh well.
Too late for regrets.
I put the bags down, reaching in to grab the painkillers and anti-nausea before moving into the bedroom.
Finding that empty, I peered into the bathroom to find her sitting against the wall, knees to chest, head to knees, body rocking back and forth as her right hand clawed at the skin on her right arm.
"Bethany," I called, my voice quiet, not wanting to freak her out.
She didn't start though, likely having heard me dropping the bags and moving toward her. Her head rose slowly, turning to look at me, her eyes small and pained.
And then she said four words I was all-too familiar with.
"I can't do this."FOURBethanyI wanted him to come back.
I knew that was warped. He was holding me in his place against my will, forcing me to detox, committing a whole laundry list of crimes against my well being.
But as the hours passed and withdrawal started to set in, all I could think was that I didn't want to be alone. That made me sound weak and pathetic, but I was beyond caring.
I felt like I was coming out of my skin.
Like how when I watched a TV show where thousands of bugs burst out from underneath the skin of a character and it made me feel like my own skin was teaming with insects.
That was how it felt. My skin was crawling. It was no longer a part of me. It was like its own entity. And I wanted nothing more than to claw it off me, to get relief from the sick sensation.
I was pretty sure the reason I wanted him back was so I didn't do something completely mental like grab one of the readily available knives from the kitchen drawer and start slicing parts of myself off just to try to get the feeling to stop. Even though I knew it was mental and it wouldn't matter if I peeled back every layer of skin, fat, muscle, tendon, and bone. It would still feel like it was there.
There were minor aches in my joints, but all that was completely blocked out by the stronger crawling sensation. Though I knew that sooner rather than later, the pain would become almost overwhelming.
I could feel the sweat already. That was how you knew it was getting worse. The hair at the back of my neck was damp by the roots. Soon it would be my whole head until I looked like I was dunked in water. Then it would be under my arms, across my back, belly, chest, and eventually... arms and legs. Every inch of my body would be wet like fever while I shook with chills.
Again, I was just genuinely bone-deep terrified to be alone through that. And seeing as I had no one to be there for me, my captor was the next best bet.
