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"Told me what?"
"Slow and sweet," he said, the smile returning and it was right then, right that second, him still inside of me, his eyes looking down me and seeing only good, his smile as warm as standing in the sun after a long, cold winter- right then I knew.
I wasn't falling.
I had fallen.
Deep.
Hard.
So far that I saw no way out.
And even if I could, I knew down to my soul that I wouldn't want it.
Maybe I didn't feel I deserved him.
Maybe I never would.
But I wasn't going to fight it, question it, look a gift horse in the mouth.
I was going to let him in.
Fully.
I was going to love him.
"Gotta let me up, sweetheart," he murmured a long minute later, pressing up so he was his full arms-length away, the cool air washing over my overheated body and racking me with a strong shiver. "I'll be back to warm you up," he promised, slipping out of me and pressing a kiss between my breasts before leaving me entirely and heading into the hall toward my bathroom.
Alone, I scooted up the bed and under the covers, rolling onto my side facing the door, putting a hand to my heart that suddenly felt different in my chest- bigger, completely open.
It should have been terrifying.
But as Lazarus moved in, perfectly naked his smile warm, his shoulders the kind I knew I could lean on, a strong chest I knew I could find comfort in, hands I could hold, I didn't feel fear.
I felt a completely unfamiliar, bone-deep kind of comfort.
He climbed under the covers, reaching for me, resting the good side of my face against his chest, one arm slung low around my hips, holding me tight as I cocked my leg across his hips. His other hand moved up to sift through my hair.
"No more running."
It was a demand, but there was a painfully clear plead in it as well.
"No more running."
We didn't talk about Mitchell or Chris or Sunny. We didn't talk about my mom or his or our addictions. We didn't discuss his work at Hex or with The Henchmen.
For one blissful hour- we were just two people not focusing on their flaws, but expressing interests, goals, dreams, foods, TV, music- all the little nothings that meant a whole lot of everything.
But then the screaming ring of his cellphone jolted us out of our sweet little reverie, making Lazarus let out a deep sigh that rustled the hair on top of my hair before he gave me a squeeze and rolled me back onto my side.
"So it begins," he said as his feet planted on the floor and he reached for his discarded pants to fish out his cell.
"So what begins?"
"Didn't exactly leave with permission," he explained. "Gonna have to explain myself to Reign."
With that, he answered the phone, having a clipped conversation with whoever was on the other line, then ending with, "Yeah, we'll be there in fifteen."
"We'll?"
"Seriously?" His head turned over his shoulder, brow raised. "You think I'd leave you alone for a second now? You're coming with me and you're staying at the compound until I am sure it's safe for you to be anywhere else. Come on," he added, standing, reaching for his clothes. "Let's get dressed. We'll take some of this shit with us now and we can come back later or I can send some of the guys to come back and get more if you need it."
I grumbled and slid out of the warmth of the comforters, taking the clothes he handed to me and slipping in. "I think this is plenty." It was, after all, all I planned to take with me, never to return again. It could definitely serve me for a couple days or weeks or however long until it was safe again, however he meant to go about ensuring such a thing.
I wasn't stupid; I figured it would be with some sort of force.
But I was going to bury my head in the sand and pretend I knew nothing.
"Alright," he said, redressed, reaching for the suitcase and slipping the band over his shoulder so he could reach for one of the boxes as well. "You ready?"
I reached for the last box, tucking it under one arm, and took the hand he was extending toward me, finding silent reassurance when he gave my hand a firm squeeze.
Then, as one unit, we walked out of my old life and into my new... with an outlaw arms dealing biker and cage fighter who was literally the most giving, kind-hearted, strongest, sweetest, forgiving person I had ever met.
And he thought I was worth his time.
I was pretty sure there was no better feeling in the world.THIRTEENLazarusThey were back.
And Reign wanted to speak to me.
That was essentially all that Edison informed me of, telling me that Lo, Janie, and Alex had hung back with the SUV to follow us home. Which was why we could bring her shit.
