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I had to let him walk away.
And I had to get okay with that sensation.--It was the middle of the night after tossing and turning for a good two and a half hours, when Johnnie climbed into bed, rolled me onto my stomach, slid a knee between my legs and half-laid his weight over my back, pinning me in place. And that was when I could finally get to sleep, his breath warm on my neck, his body a comfortable kind of heavy.
Then, I was awake. The sun was slanting through the pulled blinds and I blinked away the traces of sleep. Already awake, or waking up because of my movement, Johnnie made a grumbling noise in the back of my neck. "Too early."
"You have your days and nights mixed up," I informed the pillow, unable to move.
"Not mixed up. I just like the nights better," he said, planting his forearms on the mattress and starting to lift up. The movement had his knee brushing the juncture of my thighs and I heard an unexpected gasp rush from my lips. His entire body froze at the sound and I had the weird, unnecessary urge to hold my breath. Then he was moving, but only his knee, pulling back, then rubbing between my legs again. This time, it wasn't a gasp, it was more of a small whimper. "Fuck, so sweet," he said, nuzzling his face into my neck. His knee shifted away, but only because his hand replaced it, stroking me through my pajama pants until I was arching my butt backward, trying to give him better access.
Taking that as permission, his hands went to my pants, grabbing the waistband of them and my panties and slowly dragging down so my bottom was exposed. The material stayed bunched around my knees and his hand moved to stroke up my exposed cleft.
"So wet," he murmured, shifting his hips and I felt his hardness press against my butt. "This hurt?" he asked, slipping a finger easily inside me, drawing out a moan. "I'll take that as a no?" he chuckled into my hair as his finger started to thrust hard and fast. "Think I'm gonna fuck you like this, baby. You want that?"
"Y... yes," I whimpered, rocking my hips in rhythm with his finger. "Johnnie..."
"Fuck," he growled, pulling his finger out of me and I felt his knees straddle my hips as he leaned his torso toward the nightstand where I heard him fumble with the box of condoms. He came back and sat on his ankles for a moment, giving me time to feel a hint of uncertainty settle in. It would be a mistake, to let him touch me again, to feel him inside me again. It would only blur the lines more.
His hands moved out and grabbed the cheeks of my butt, squeezing hard as he shifted forward and his length slid up my cleft, the head rubbing against my throbbing clit. "Gonna ease you into it, darlin', but I want to fuck you hard," he told me and I felt a thrill of desire rush through my system, bringing a rush of wet between my thighs. "Sound good?"
"Yes," I whispered.
"Cock your knees for me baby. I want your ass up in the air." I pushed my arms up under me, pressing up. My knees went up too, bending up toward my belly slightly as I kept my torso low so my butt was where he wanted it. "Just like that," he praised and I felt a fluttering at his words. He shifted in behind me, rocking his hips so his erection teased between my folds until I was writhing for him. One of his hands rested just above my butt, the other guided him toward my entrance where he paused as he pressed in.
I waited for it, the pain, the burning pinch that had been there before. It didn't come. There was a slight pulling sensation that made my thighs tense, but it eased as quickly as it started. "You okay?" he asked, pausing when he had just barely penetrated.
"Don't stop," I begged, my hands gripping the sheets, my sex clenching around him.
"Fuck, angel," he groaned, thrusting forward and filling me to the hilt. His hands moved to span my hips, holding on as he made a few gentle, tentative thrusts, easing me into it. When all he got from me was strangled moans, his fingers sunk into my hips, using them to pull me back into his body as he thrust forward.
"Oh... my god," I groaned, pushing up onto my palms.
One of his hands moved up my spine, his palm spreading across the back of my head, then curling his fingers in and turning. He pulled and the pain was a quick, sharp sensation that felt way too good in a way too dirty kind of way. "So tight, baby," he growled, digging into my hair again, but harder, using it to pull me backward until my hands were off the mattress, until my back was against his front. His hand released my hair, and moved to brush over my breast, then trail down my belly, until it slid between my thighs and started circling my clit. "Want your arms around me, honey," he murmured and my arms went up oddly and around the back of his neck. "Good girl," he praised, his thrusts getting faster, hitting me deep each time and the friction became an almost painful sensation.
"Johnnie," I groaned, feeling the tightening start deep.
"That's it baby. Squeeze my cock," he urged. His finger did another sweep of my clit and my breath got stuck in my chest as my orgasm coursed through my body, a fast, frantic pulsation around Johnnie who groaned out a curse as he thrust deep and buried, his body jerking as he came. His finger slid from my clit and moved to my inner thigh, squeezing. "Good morning angel," he said, pressing a kiss into my neck. I felt a giggle well up, wild and uncontrollable. "What?"
