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“Will do.”
Inside our room, I find my cell phone and check it. Nothing from Rock. I do have a message from Trinity.
Everything good?
It’s late, but I text her back anyway.
So far.
I get a smiley face back from her.
Now, where the heck is Rock?
More shots ring out. This night sure went to shit fast. Shouts and gunfire echo around us, then die down. It’s fucking dark, and I have no goddamn idea what the hell we followed Sway into.
“Prez?” Z whispers, and I turn his way.
Other than a few shouts and rustling, things seem to have calmed down—well, except for the fucker sneaking up behind Z. I don’t have time to warn him. Don’t even think about what I’m doing. My body snaps into autopilot in reaction to the threat against my brother. My gun is already in my hand. Everything happens in slow motion even though it’s over fast. I aim, finger already touching the trigger, and squeeze.
Too late, though.
My bullet hits him in the chest and he goes down. From where I’m standing, I can’t tell if he’s down for good. But I’m close enough to see Z’s been hit.
“Murph!” I point at the guy, and Murphy runs over to secure the threat.
“Z! Fuck, brother, you okay?” I reach him quick and take in his pain-twisted face.
“Fuuuck! Goddammit.” He’s holding his arm. “That fucking hurts,” he growls as I approach.
Not the first time one of my brothers has taken a bullet in front of me. Doesn’t make it any easier.
“Let me see,” I say, grabbing his arm.
“Ow, watch it, ya fuck.”
By the amount of bitching he’s doing, I think he’ll be fine.
“Grazed your arm. Still gonna need stitches.”
Murphy hands over a strip of cloth, and we bandage Z’s arm the best we can.
I nod at Murphy. “Go find Sway.”
This fuckin’ mess is gonna take forever to clean up, but I want Z taken care of right the fuck now.
“Shit, guys. You okay, man?” Sway calls out as he jogs over.
“It’s nothing,” Z answers.
“Probably needs stitches,” I add.
Sway pulls out his phone and calls the clubhouse. “Babe, need you to keep Doc there…” Sway wanders off to finish his conversation.
I pull out my phone and send a message to Axel.
Headed back. Make sure Hope is in our room.
Although it’s not a serious injury, I do not need Hope seeing this.
On it, Axel replies.
“Prez, I’m really fine,” Z says, standing in front of me.
“I know.”
“Let’s finish up here. Then I’ll see the doc.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Finishing up takes too long for my taste. Altogether, Sway’s got four bodies to add to the barn that’s about to go up in flames.
Even though we’re in the middle of nowhere, the fire can be seen in the rearview for some distance.
“All volunteer fire departments out here. By the time someone sees it and calls it in, it’s done,” Sway explains on our way back.
“So much for ‘quick and easy, in and out,’ right, brother?” I say. Is that disrespectful? Probably. Do I give a fuck right now? No.
“Yeah, that was unexpected.” Sway agrees. It’s as close to an apology as I’ll get from him.
I’m fuckin’ furious by the time we get back to the clubhouse.
“Prez, really, I’m fine,” Z assures me again.
I know I’m actin’ like a pissy little bitch. And I know this is the risk we all take doing what we do. But still, knowing that a few inches here or there and we’d be having a different conversation—or no conversation at all—is getting to me. We lost a lot of our brothers in the early days. And since then, I’ve worked hard to keep my guys whole.
“You know Carla’s husband is the club’s doc, right, prez?” Z asks. “Be happy it’s me gettin’ treated, not you. She’d probably ask him to stitch your mouth shut.”
My brother, who just had a bullet go through him, is trying to cheer me up. Fucking wonderful.
“Keep it up and I’ll ask him to sew your mouth shut,” I snap back.
He grins at my retort and slaps me on the back. “Go make sure Hope’s okay.”
“Yeah. Call me if you need something.”
“I will.”
“I’ll stay with him, prez,” Murphy assures me.
On my way to our room, I check in with Hoot and Axel. Satisfied they’ve managed to stay out of trouble, I head for our room. I pray like fuck Hope’s already asleep. I need a shower. I fuckin’ reek. Plus, my head’s still messed up from this entire shit show of a night.
I need to see my girl, though. If nothing else, I need to wrap myself around something pure and good.
I’m freaking out by the time Rock finally returns to our room. At first, he steps inside with caution, but once he sees I’m awake, his steps become firmer.
“Hey,” he tosses out.
“Hi. I’ve been worried about you.” Whoops. I was trying to keep myself from saying that, not wanting to add to his stress.
He gives me a hard look but doesn’t say anything. After kicking off his boots, he strides into the bathroom. A few seconds later, I hear the shower squeak to life. I want to go to him, but I’m not in the mood for sexy shower games, and something tells me Rock wants to be alone. So I stay in bed and wait.
He steps out in just a towel wrapped around his lean hips. It’s a struggle not to stare at every glorious inch available to my gaze. For once, he seems indecisive as he stands there. Finally, he takes out some clothes and slips into them. The bed dips low as he sits next to me, rolling my body forward.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Ye—”
He cuts me off before I even get a word out. “Besides being worried. Anyone bother you tonight?”
“No.”
“Good.”
He reaches over and snaps off the light, plunging us into darkness.
“Scoot,” he says, giving me a gentle shove. Blowing out an exasperated breath, I move, and he cuddles me close.
“Cold?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
Safe in his arms, I allow my body to relax against him. He buries his nose in my hair, his lips kissing the top of my head. “Missed my girl.”
“Missed you too.”
A million thoughts and questions run through my mind, but I don’t give voice to any of them.
Rock seems to sense it anyway. “Tell me what you did today.”
“Talked with Tawny. A lot.” My eye roll is lost in the dark.
He chuckles softly. “How was that?”
Paranoid of being overheard, I turn in his arms. Our foreheads touch. “She’s complex. She was nice to me, but she’s so… hard,” I whisper. “Is that what you want me to turn into? Is that what I’m going to be in ten, fifteen years?”
He hugs me tighter. “No, baby. That’s not what I want at all.” One hand runs over my hair and down my back. “I deal with enough shit. I’m hard enough for both of us. Tawny thrives on drama and the power trip of being the prez’s ol’ lady. I don’t have the patience for that type of woman. Never have. Don’t get me wrong. She’s good for Sway. Makes her a fine ol’ lady here. But I’ve never wanted that.”
His words are soft but earnest, and my heart beats wildly as I continue to listen. “At the end of the day, I want to shut all that bad shit out. Just be myself with my girl. Like this. Like we are right now.”
Oh. My. God. I think that’s one of the deepest things Rock’s ever admitted to me, and I squirm to get closer to him.
Rock isn’t finished, though. “You love me for me, Hope. You’re not with me to be queen of an MC. You’re with me for me.”
He speaks the words so low I almost don’t hear him. It’s on the tip of my tongue to crack a joke. You know, like I never knew what an MC was before I met Rock
, so how could I aspire to be queen of something I didn’t know existed? But I hang on to the stupid comment. Instead, I tell him something I think he needs to hear.
“That’s true,” I say, running my hand over his cheek. “I like you too, you know. Always have. And I’d want to be with you no matter what you did.”
He kisses my forehead. “I know, baby doll.”
“What happened tonight, Rock?”
“Nothin’ I want to talk about right now.”
Nothing he wants to talk about. Not can’t. It’s a subtle difference, but I feel the power of it. I snuggle closer, tucking my head under his chin, listening to his heart thump.
“Carla didn’t show up again, did she?” Rock asks after a while.
“Yes, she came with Barry. I guess he acts as a doctor for the club?”
He nods against me. “She bother you?”
I’m not sure how to answer. Nothing she said bothered me. “At first, she was claws out. Tawny set her straight. She has some strong opinions about the way Carla treated you,” I tell him.
He snorts. “I’m sure she does. Tawny takes this life seriously.”
I hesitate. “Really? Because I got the impression she and Sway fuck around on each other.”
Rock sighs. “I don’t get into their personal shit anymore. But Sway never had an ounce of self-control.”
“So what’s with all the loyalty these guys are always talking about?”
“Loyalty to the club, Hope. If Tawny’s fuckin’ around, she ain’t fuckin’ brothers.”
I take a second to let that sink in.
“Hope? You know that’s not who I am, right?”
Guilt for the sliver of doubt I had earlier crawls through me. “Yes.”
“Made plenty of mistakes in my life. Losing you won’t be one of them.”
“Carla thought she was going to shock me by telling me about… stuff. I basically told her to get over herself. You’re both different people today.”
“That’s an understatement.” He chuckles and runs his hand over my hair.
After a beat, I ask the question that’s been on my mind since she showed up. “What did you see in her when you met?”
The question seems to startle him. “Who the fuck knows?”
Even though I can’t see him that well, I draw back so we’re sort of nose to nose. “Come on, I’m curious.”
Warm, minty breath wafts over my face as he sighs. “She came across as soft and in need of protection. Had a tough situation growing up, and I think the message she got was to take everything she could and glom on to the first guy who could support her.”
I think about Axel and Hoot’s lowly positions in the club. “Weren’t you a prospect when you met?”
“Yeah, but it was still an MC. The danger of it all excited her. When the time came it looked like I would take over as president, she really sank her claws into me. Then it looked like it might be Z, so she went at him.”
“Jesus.”
“When we first met, Carla had a bit of vulnerability about her that reminded me of my mother.”
Oh, wow. Rock’s never talked to me about his mother before. “You’ve never told me about her.”
Against my forehead, I feel him smile. “She was fun. I didn’t think about it when I was a kid, but she had me really young. Got married right out of high school, so she was almost a kid herself. She read to me every day, and I loved the sound of her voice.” He snorts. “I lied and told her they hadn’t taught us to read in school yet so she wouldn’t stop reading to me.”
“Oh, Rock, that’s so sweet.”
“You know, when I started school, I was the biggest kid in the classroom. I’d fight anyone who picked on me about it too. I don’t think she knew what to do with me, so she told me how God made me big so I could protect people who were smaller than me.”
Holy hell, my heart hurts for him. “Wow. That’s a big burden to place on a little boy.”
He’s silent for so long I start to worry. I didn’t mean to sound so judgmental of his dead mother. Dammit, I can’t do anything right.
“I never thought about it like that. But yeah, you’re probably right.”
I don’t think about it often, but my mother grew up Catholic. Every Sunday morning, she took me to church with her. My father had no use for that crap, but she wanted me to have the experience, I guess. Once in a while, she’d order me to sit outside one of these little rooms tucked in the back of the church and disappear inside for what she told me was confession. She explained if you confessed your sins, God took them away from you.
I never grasped the concept.
Until this second.
Talking to Hope in the dark this way, after everything that went down tonight, is an unburdening of sorts.
After my mother’s funeral, I never set foot inside a church again.
Hope relaxes against me.
“You should get some sleep, baby. We’ve got a long trip tomorrow.”
She nods, her nose brushing against my skin. “I’m so happy we’re going home.”
I love hearing her say that. I want nothing more than to build a home and a life with her.
“Tawny talked some smack about Trinity and even Wrath today. I had to stop myself from clocking her,” she murmurs.
Laughter rumbles out of me. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Her breathing deepens as she slips into sleep, and I enjoy the feel of her in my arms. All the bad shit from the day keeps running through my head. Z getting shot. The acrid stench of smoke still fills my nose. Despite the violent scrub-down I gave myself in the shower, I swear I still smell death and fire on my skin.
It’s a long time before I fall asleep. So I lie there enjoying the feel of Hope in my arms.
I’m so thankful I made it back to my girl.
I wake early to find Hope staring at me. “What’s wrong, baby?”
A smile plays at the corners of her mouth. My girl’s up to something. After all the serious shit we’ve talked about and the tension on this trip, I’m relieved to wake up and find her smiling.
“I want to go for a swim.”
Huh. Not what I expected, but okay. Not at the top of my list of things to do this morning, but if that’s what my girl wants, I’m down for it.
“Get your scuba suit?”
She chuckles. “No. I did the best I could.”
Throwing back the blankets, I trudge into the bathroom and splash some cold water on my face to wake the fuck up. When I return, Hope’s already in her suit. It’s one piece and nothing special, but on Hope, it’s stunning. White and snug in all the right places.
“You look pretty in white,” I tell her before kissing her cheek.
“Thank you.”
“Gonna be one hell of a pretty bride.” Christ that’s something I’m looking forward to.
The remark seems to startle her. Her mouth twitches. “I… I didn’t think I should wear white again,” she stammers out.
I don’t give a fuck if she shows up in rags as long as she shows up. “Doll, you’ll be beautiful no matter what you’re wearing.”
Some of the awkwardness seems to melt from her face, and she gestures to the swim shorts she’s got laid out for me. They’re black camo with skulls, and that amuses me.
I plant a kiss on her forehead. “Thank you.”
When I’m ready, I turn and eye her outfit. “Put your patch on.”
She seems surprised but does it without question.
I grab my phone and her towel and lead her out the door. I’ve been here before, but the pool is stashed in some alternate fucking dimension. Of course, any helpful signs the hotel might have once had up have long been taken down and replaced with lewd biker posters.
It doesn’t take long before the scent of chlorine confirms we’re on the right path. The pool is deserted, but it appears crystal clear. Nothing too disgusting floating in the water.
“Tawny said she does fifty laps every night, so t
he prospects maintain the pool very well,” Hope says as if she’d been reading my mind.
“Fifty, huh? No wonder she never ages.”
Hope slants a curious look at me. She can’t seriously be jealous. I shake my head at her.
The water is almost too warm for my comfort, like swimming in soup. But Hope seems to enjoy herself. She swims lazy laps back and forth while I watch her from the side. After a while, she swims over to me and throws her arms around my neck. I push away from the wall and she wraps her legs around my waist.
Now this I can get used to.
I twirl and spin her around in the water. She leans back, gliding her hands over the surface. I don’t think she realizes that arching her back like that puts her perfect breasts on display, her hard nipples straining against the flimsy white fabric of her suit. Shifting my arms against her back, I pull her up out of the water and lean down to close my mouth over one nipple. Her stunned little gasp gets me even more worked up.
I knew I should have brought condoms down with me.
“Morning, fuckers.”
Sway.
Hope wriggles her body under the water, pressing herself tight against me. Shielding her from Sway’s pervy gaze, I turn us.
“What up, brother?” I grouch at him. Glancing up, it’s clear he’s not here for a swim lesson.
“Need your help sorting through shit from last night.”
“Yeah, okay. Give me a few minutes.”
“No problem. Morning, Hope,” Sway calls out with a leer.
Hope chuckles against me and unwraps one of her arms from my waist to wave at Sway. “Morning!”
Once he finally leaves—prick was sticking around a little too long for my taste—I pull Hope away. “Sorry, baby doll.”
She curls her hands over my shoulder and uses the weightlessness of the water to jump and wrap her legs around my waist. “It’s okay.”
“You can’t stay down here by yourself.”
She wraps her arms around my neck and leans in to kiss me. “I know. Take me back to our room.”
She’s killing me. Growling a lot of unhappy words, I carry her out of the water. Next to our chairs, she unwinds herself and slides down my body, really not helping the situation in my swim trunks. “Hope,” I warn.
