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I gasp in shock when Julian’s strong arm circles my waist, and he clutches me to his warm chest. My muscles tense, but a part of me feels protected in his embrace.
“You’re so stubborn,” he whispers into the shell of my ear.
“I don’t need your help,” I grit out, trying to fight against his hold, but my muscles are like jelly, and my head is spinning like I’m on a tilt-a-whirl.
“If you say so.” He releases me, and I start to fall to the floor again.
Chuckling, his hands circle my waist once again, holding me tightly to his chest, and heat creeps through me, slowly trickling into my core.
My cheeks are burning, but I doubt he can see them. It’s just the illness, I don’t actually like his hands on me. “Looks like you do need my help,” he teases.
I roll my eyes, wanting to deny it, but I know the second he lets me go again, I’m gonna be on the floor, no doubt about it.
“I don’t want to take a shower with you again. Last time ended horrible.”
“My version of horrible and yours are vastly different.” He grins, guiding us into the bathroom. Gently, he turns me in his arms and helps me to sit down on the toilet. Then he opens the shower door and turns the water on. I don’t bother hiding my body from him and start taking my clothes off without question.
I do my best to avert my gaze as he strips, but it’s so hard, literally and figuratively. A man as cruel as him shouldn’t be allowed to look so good. Rippling muscle, tone, and tan. He looks like a model.
He’s completely naked now while I still have my Pajama pants on. I stare down at my feet and take his hand when he offers it to me, doing everything I can to not look at that mammoth organ between his thighs.
Helping me out of my clothes, he picks me back up, and we step into the shower together, one of his hands remaining on my hip to steady me. His junk presses against my thigh, and I hiss at the touch.
“It won’t bite you, Elena.”
“Says the owner of the beast.” I swallow down the lump in my throat and start washing my body. My movements are sluggish, and it takes me forever to actually wash. The whole time Julian remains beside me, steadying me and doing nothing but making sure I don’t fall.
“Here, sit.” He guides me to the bench in the corner of the shower, and I sit down, pressing my back against the cool tile.
“Why is there a bench in here anyway? Isn’t that for old people?”
A low chuckle rumbles in his chest, a rare sound I could get used to. “The shower doubles as a steam room.”
“Oh…”
“I’ll wash your hair as soon as I’m done washing myself,” he says. I want to object, and I should because I’ve learned that his kindness always comes with a price, but I’m desperate for someone to care for me, desperate for the man that’s going to marry me to actually want me.
My nipples harden painfully as I watch the water cascade down his back. He’s absolute perfection, and I’m jealous of the washrag that he uses over his sculpted body.
You don’t want him. He doesn’t even care about you. I remind myself.
Shivering, I bite my lip, it’s at that time, he turns to face me. In that instant, he’s both monster and man, his eyes trail over my body, leaving a path of warmth in their wake.
I must be delirious because there is no way this is happening again.
“You’re looking at me like you want me to fuck you,” he says, swiping a hand down his face. I feel sweat bead against my forehead, and I’m not sure if I should tell him that I want him to touch me or not. I’m not supposed to want him, it’s wrong, but I’m so damn lonely, and so tired of fighting.
“I want you… to touch me,” I murmur.
Julian grins, and separates the space between us in one step, “You want me to touch you, but not fuck you?”
I nod my head. “Just touch.”
“Do you want to touch me too?” he whispers, taking my chin between two fingers. I shiver at the intense need in his eyes and the feel of his fingers on my skin.
“I’m… I don’t know,” I admit, and Julian looks at me for a long second, and I’m almost sure he’s going to tell me to get out, but instead, he releases my chin and takes a step back.
“Spread your legs,” he orders, and I obey just like he wants me to. I glance down between my thighs to see what he sees right now. “Eyes on me at all times. I want to see you when you come, and I want you to watch me own your body the way only I can.”
