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I stared at the black soundproof material along the walls and ceiling. The air coming through the roof above us had a bite of winter to it. I breathed it in, allowing it to fill my lungs. I wanted to believe Kota would go back to before I fainted, before he learned about Gabriel and me. I couldn’t take it back, but would he ever be the same?
Luke put a hand on my hip and smiled at me dreamily. “Unless you just want to run away with me to Australia.”
The idea of just getting out from under Carol and going far away enough it wouldn’t matter was a tempting one. Totally ridiculous, but for the moment, I was willing to play pretend just to pull myself out of the dark mood. “I’d need a passport, right?”
“Not if we take a boat,” he said.
Was that how it worked? But maybe I was thinking too seriously. I remembered a time we’d envisioned the diner together. We had elaborate plans. The diner had ended up different than what I’d pictured, but it hadn’t mattered. What we pictured didn’t have to come true. It was just fun to think about. “Do you know how to sail?”
“I could get Silas to teach me,” he said. “Or we could get a big yacht. Maybe Victor will buy us one.”
I giggled, shaking my head. “Why Australia?”
He chuckled and leaned in, his nose touching the tip of mine. “It’s summer over there. We could go to the beach.” He put an arm around me, his palm at the small of my back and tugging me close.
I blinked when he was too close to look at directly. “I’ll have to remember my bathing suit.”
“We’ll take anything you want. Unless we need two boats for it.”
“We need a bigger boat,” I said. “For all of us.”
He backed his head away, his face lighting up. “Let’s bring a chef. Someone to make us pancakes.”
“We’ll need chocolate chips.”
“And your mocha coffee.”
I beamed. “And all the candy and cakes.”
He grinned. “Hmmm, now I’m hungry.” He opened his mouth wide, and then lightly bit me on the nose. “Gnar, gnarh.”
I giggled, covering my mouth with my fingers just to smother the sound a bit out of reflex.
At the same moment, he redirected his bite to my hand, just over my mouth.
I stilled, a laugh erupting from my throat and I tried to squash it, and I squeaked.
He laughed softly and then reached up, removing my hand. “I thought we were past this part.”
My cheeks heated as he leaned in to kiss me.
It started with a slight press of his teeth against my lips in a pretend bite, but he quickly changed, puckering more, pressing his mouth to mine.
He drew my hand to his chest. His shirt was partially open, and he redirected my touch to his skin.
I froze, feeling his smooth chest, too intimidated to move. I wanted to, like how I’d seen girls in movies touching a guy she was with on the chest.
He deepened the kiss, and rolled to hover over me. His hand returned to my hip, and then slid up until his palm was touching bare skin at my waist.
His palm shifted to the small of my back, pulling me in.
My heart went wild. I nervously grasped at his chest.
My fingernails scraped gently at his skin.
I sucked in a sharp breath and released him quickly. I hadn’t meant to scratch him. My nails were a little longer after camp than I was used to, and I hadn’t gotten to trimming them.
He mumbled something against my lips, released my back long enough to hold my hand back up against his chest, keeping my hand pressed over his heart.
His heartbeat was as fast as mine.
He backed up a bit, opening his eyes slowly. His breath was warm at my face. “I’m supposed to get you to get up to leave, but I don’t want to. I want to stay here with you.”
“We don’t want to stay...” I whispered, holding my breath after.
He drew his lips in tight against his teeth and frowned. “You’re right. Not here.”
I sighed and tucked my head into his chest. “One day, I’ll be out of here. We won’t have to hide like this.”
He pressed his cheek against the top of my head. “One day, for good. Soon. I’ll make you pancakes every morning. I don’t even make good pancakes, but I’d do it...or get North to do it. He makes better ones.”
I let myself giggle, grateful for the happier mood. Luke seemed to know just what to say to make me forget my stress for a moment, and sometimes I needed it. “He’d make us eat veggies for breakfast. We’ll have to make it.”
“The best food is always the food someone else made.”
“I can make some.”
He chuckled. “You make good food. I really want grilled cheese apple sammies again.”
“What’s the plan now? What do I do today?”
He hugged me close. “You need to leave here without eating breakfast,” he said and then he started to release me. “Oh man, I’m stupid. Here I was talking pancakes.”
“I can wait to eat,” I said.
He grinned. “You can have some after. Dr. Green wants to run some tests.”
“Are we going to the downtown hospital?”
“He can do most of it at Nathan’s, I think.” He kept his palm against my cheek. “Hopefully you won’t have to go anywhere. Just don’t faint again,
okay?”
“Wasn’t planning on it.” I breathed in through my nose and let it out slowly, looking at his dark eyes. “I guess now is as good a time as any—before she makes breakfast and expects me to sit at the table to eat it.”
“Sure,” he said with a smile. “I may have to stay a while if you wake Jimmy up on your way out, so just make sure you head straight to Nathan’s the moment you’re out the door. If Carol insists on someone going with you, or taking you herself, head to the diner, and just start working the counter until they go away. We’ll try to avoid Carol as much as we can. We still don’t know how much she might know about us individually.”
All the sneaking around pushed a heavy weight onto my heart. I used to be so paranoid about my stepmother. This time, it felt more dangerous. Carol was way more attentive, and Jimmy was nosy. Sneaking around might not be as easy as before.
Dolled
I gathered up a set of clothes out of the wardrobe without looking at them, and a pair of sneakers. I knocked lightly before opening the attic door.
Jimmy had hung up a clothing line across a small part of the far side of the room, and a makeshift curtain made out of bedsheets had been set up.
Was that his idea? I appreciated that he thought I needed privacy and was making an effort. Or was it so he had privacy? Maybe I’d been around the Academy guys, who shared everything with me, for too long.
Would it make it easier for Luke to leave? Or for the others to come in as needed? I thought it would make it harder, because I couldn’t just look out and see if he was asleep.
Would it make it hard for the cameras to catch something important?
I wondered if Jimmy assumed I’d eventually want to come out of the attic if I knew there was a way to divide the room.
I groaned internally at the idea.
I didn’t want to be here long enough to get that comfortable sharing a space.
I got dressed in the bathroom, putting on a gray wool skirt made of material that felt like a sweater and a thin long-sleeved white shirt. It was dressier than I’d anticipated, but I didn’t want to risk waking Jimmy up.
