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"You want to get a coffee?" He slides his fingers over the steering wheel like he's fretting his guitar. "Or tea."
This is the part where I say no, that's a bad idea. I should get back to my car and drive home. You broke my heart once, I already begged you to sleep with me, do I really need any more pain or humiliation?
I say none of that.
I nod. "I guess."
He smiles. I swear to God, every inch of my body can feel Ethan's smile. His smile is the sun breaking through the clouds on a dreary New York day.
His smile makes me feel as good as it did when we were together.
"The usual place?" he asks.
"Huh?"
"The Peet's at UCI?"
Our old hangout spot. "It's twenty minutes out of the way." And it's full of memories of when everything was perfect between us. I can't go thinking about the old version of Ethan. I can't get confused.
"You have something better to do?" he asks.
I don't have much to do in the next twelve days besides getting ahead on school work and keeping up with my karate training—strong body, strong mind, strong ability to resist Ethan's smile and his expert guitarist hands.
My body is still buzzing from the proximity. I'm not sure if I'll be able to resist him if he makes me laugh, then leans in for a soft, slow kiss. He always took his time making sure I was ready, getting me off before he even stripped out of his boxers.
The radio station goes from a Trader Joe's commercial to a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. Everything about it feels like home.
I have to laugh.
Ethan laughs too. "Miss KROQ?"
"Always."
"What are you listening to these days?"
"Same riot girl stuff as always." I smooth my dress in the hopes of pulling it farther down my legs. No luck. "I caught the new album when it came out last year. It's good."
"I know."
There's the cocky Ethan who sleeps around and teases the press. I spend the rest of the song taking him in, trying to find the sincerity in his brilliant blue eyes. It does me no good. All I know is how much I want to swim in those eyes.
"You were good on it," I say. "But I guess you know that too."
He nods.
"You know everything now. Or… well, you always thought you knew everything."
"You really don't have any tact."
"Some things never change."
His voice drops. "Yeah."
He sounds sad.
But why?
The station shifts to Good Riddance by Green Day. One of my favorite songs. It's supposed to be easy on guitar. Ethan tried teaching me once, but I never did get the hang of it. I have stupid fingers. And I can't keep a beat to save my life.
