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"With those strict 'no fraternization' rules, he can't express his attraction." Kit chuckles.
Joel rolls his eyes. He moves between us, close enough to whisper. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Was gonna talk to Violet," I say. "Do you object to that?"
"Fuck yeah, I object to that. Look at her." He motions to Violet.
I've been looking at her. Her eyes are on her laptop. Her brow is furrowed with concentration.
That's how she always looks when she's working.
Except that her shoulders are tense and she's tapping her fingers against the table.
She's nervous about something.
All the more reason to talk to her. Whatever this is, we can work it out.
"Kit and I know that you and Violet ever being casual is a pipe dream." Joel lowers his voice. "Does she know that?"
"She's the one insisting." I'm playing by her rules.
"You skipped the sound check," he says. "You've never done that before."
"It's just a sound check," I say.
Joel shoots me a you aren't convincing me with that bullshit look. "I get it. Violet is fun, she's smart, she's hot. If she wasn't your ex-girlfriend, I'd be the first in line to fuck her. But she wouldn't look at me the way she looks at you. And I certainly wouldn't look at her the way you do."
What's his point?
"You're going to hurt her. You really want that on your conscience?" Joel asks.
No, I don't. Biting aside, the last thing I want is to hurt Violet. But there's no reason to tell Joel that.
He's only gonna fuck this up.
"We're on the same page." I try to keep my voice light but I'm not selling this story.
From the look on Joel's face, it's clear he's not believing it either.
Doesn't matter what Joel thinks. I'm tired of everybody looking at me like I'm about to screw shit up. I deserved it once upon a time—when Mom and Dad bailed, I used the freedom to drink and screw around. Flunked out of high school, lost my part-time job, lost my friends.
But that was six years ago now.
I turned shit around. I got my GED. I got a better job. I channeled my energy into the thing that mattered—making music.
Wish I could object and tell Joel to go fuck himself, but the drummer has a point. I'll never forgive myself if I hurt Violet again.
Sitting here with Joel isn't doing shit for me. I nod goodbye and move into the kitchen.
Violet looks up at me. She pulls her headphones off her ears. "Did you need something?"
"This." I open the fridge and pull out a bowl of strawberries. "You want some?"
"Yeah, that would be great." Her lips curl into a tiny smile.
I set the fruit on the table and slide into the other seat. It's a small enough space that my knees bump Violet's. "What are you working on?"
"I need to start applying for jobs. Most people at school lined something up months ago."
