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I try to find words, but they're too ugly. Too raw.
What the fuck can I say?
I did mean it, that the past didn't matter.
It didn't.
But it does.
I'm a fucking liar.
As bad as she is.
No, worse.
But that doesn't change shit.
I still can't stomach this.
I still—
I swallow the last drop of my drink. It still fails to offer clarity.
I don't know much. But I do know this. "You should go."
Her heart breaks. Fuck, I can see it all over her face.
I still hate her pain.
But I still can't do this.
This still doesn't make any sense.
Her eyes go to the floor.
Without a word, she turns, and moves to the door.
It swings shut behind her.
Everyone looks at me.
Fuck that. I refill my drink.
Dean steps forward. He tries to grab the cup. Knocks it over instead. "You're not going after her?"
I shake my head.
I don't see how it can be anything else.
I don't…
This doesn't make any sense.
"What the fuck, Walker? You're crazy about her." He scratches his head. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"You heard everything. You know the answer."
"She's an addict. So what?" Something fills his eyes. Guilt.
