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Water sloshes against the concrete as he surfaces. He treads water, his eyes on me, his body turned toward mine.
“I want to trust you about this, Leigh. But I don’t know how.” He dives under the water. Swims to the shallow end. Surfaces with his mane of waves sticking to his head.
I dive under the water. Follow him. Join him at the steps.
His hand brushes mine. “You knew me when it happened.”
“Last June.”
He nods.
“But you said it’s been fourteen months since you’ve—”
His lips curl into a half smile, but his eyes stay sad. “That’s the detail you noticed?”
I nod.
“Yeah. Penny was right.”
“Huh?”
“Sorry. I keep forgetting you’re not in my head.”
“I wish I was.”
“It’s a mess.”
“So’s mine.” I sit next to him. Follow his gaze to the dark sky. “So’s everyone’s.” The stars are tiny white dots. They’re dull. Faint. “You’re not a lost cause. I don’t think that.”
“I know.”
“But the other day—”
“I was pissed.”
“You were?”
“Yeah.” He leans back on his elbows. “Penny wanted to ask if you were good to me.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Compared to her?”
“Compared to what I deserve, I guess.”
“And she knows?”
“Shit was good for a long time. I loved her. She loved me. Says she still does.”
My stomach leaps into my throat. “Don’t tell me—”
“That usual I love you, but I’m not in love with you bullshit.”
The tension in my shoulders unfurls. Thank God. “Oh.”
“But it wasn’t bullshit.” He turns to me. “She meant it.”
“She really wants you to be happy?”
“Yeah. I want to get there. To wanting that for her.”
