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His cheeks and chest flush. "Guess it's pretty simple." He turns to face me. "I don't trust women. Not when it comes to love."
"Why not?"
"It started a long time ago. At one of my parents' parties. I left the kid's room—I was tired of Ryan's music and I was really fucking tired of hearing him talk about Penny. That was before they started dating. When he was sure she wanted nothing to do with him. Our parents are family friends. But I guess that's irrelevant to my point." He runs his hand through his wet hair. "Fuck. Why'd you give me those shots?"
My lips curl into a half smile. "Take some personal responsibility."
"I'd rather blame you."
"What happened at the party?"
He presses his palms into his quads. "Mom's door was open. She was in there. With another guy. A family friend. They were kissing. Groping. I didn't see his dick or anything, but I saw enough."
"Oh."
"She realized I caught her. Freaked. Explained that we needed to keep this a secret. 'Cause telling Dad would only hurt him. I was fourteen. I got what was happening. Started keeping tabs on her. Even then, I knew it was fucked-up spying on my mom, but I didn't care. I had to know what the fuck it was."
"And?"
"She was in love with him. Wanted to leave my dad for him. But he got cold feet. Made up with his wife. For a while, she was miserable. Then things got better. Seemed like she and Dad were happy."
"Does Ryan know?"
"Maybe. I don't know. We never talked about it."
"You held onto all that?"
"Yeah."
Damn. That's a big secret to carry. Especially at fourteen. Especially as a younger sibling. "That was after he got sick?"
He n
ods. "I guess the stress pushed them apart."
That happens. But, still. There's no excuse. "Did you hate her for that?"
"Yeah."
"I would too." My hand goes to his thigh.
He looks down at it like he's not sure what he wants to do with it.
Then his eyes are on mine. "What are you doing, Chloe?"
"Why do you keep asking that?"
"You don't want this."
"Yes, I do. I want you."
"As?"
"As everything."
"I don't want to hurt you again."
"What does that mean?"
