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Bringing the flowers to my chest again, I shook my head. “Oh, well. I will see him later,” I muttered, before burying my face in the bouquet. The feeling of defeat left me and I felt myself smiling again.
When I reached the top landing, I turned to my left toward my room, but something caught my eye to my right.
Alessio.
Swiveling around, I was about to call him when I saw someone else. Not just anyone. But Nina.
My smile was lost in an instant.
His back was turned to me so he didn’t see me. But Nina saw me and she smiled. It was devilish. It was one that was filled with triumph. She brought a hand up and laid it on Alessio’s arm and moved closer.
“Alessio,” she crooned enough for me to hear.
He was saying something in return, but I didn’t hear him. All I saw was how close Nina was. She was practically plastered to Alessio’s body.
My stomach twisted almost painfully and I took a step back. My arms fell limply beside me as my nose stung.
All the happiness, everything that I felt just seconds ago evaporated, leaving me empty.
But then I felt something I never felt before boiling inside of me, like waves crashing around me. My chest grew tight, squeezing as I continued to take steps backward.
Why did he do this?
He let me play the piano. I played for him every night. He shared the creek with me. He kissed me. He held me in his arms. And he gave me flowers. I thought we had something special.
I thought it meant something. I thought I meant something to him.
I realized I was crying. I swiped the tears away.
My heart was hurting.
Placing a hand over my mouth, I muffled any sounds that might emerge.
“I would describe it as a wave. It comes crashing in your heart with so many mixed feelings…it hurts.”
Maddie’s voice rang through my mind as I stared at Nina and Alessio. When I saw them walking into his office, I quickly turned around and blinked away the tears in frustration. I placed my hand over my chest, where my heart was raging.
I couldn’t understand. Could Maddie be right?
Was I…jealous?
Chapter 40
Under the layer of hurt and disappointment, I was angry at Alessio and at myself.
Why did I care?
It was a foreign and weird feeling coursing through my body. Anger. I didn’t remember the last time I let myself feel such emotion. I had learned how to turn off all my emotions, becoming numb to everything and everyone around me. Yet I felt hurt, disappointed, angry, and jealous.
Alessio gave me laughter, smiles, and peace. And now, in my heart, it hurt. It felt like he had taken all of that away.
I wasn’t supposed to care, but no matter how hard I tried to keep myself from getting emotionally involved, I had failed.
Looking away from the door, I stared down at the bouquet in my hand.
A sigh filled with dejection escaped past my lips, and I turned away from his office, slowly making my way to my room. Walking inside, I found Maddie sitting on my bed, with my book on her lap. Her head snapped up when she heard me.
“Ayla?” Maddie questioned, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Placing the book on the bed, she motioned me to come forward. “What’s wrong? I thought you were going to see Alessio.”
Swallowing hard against the ball of sadness, I shook my head and brought the flowers close to my chest. “He was with Nina.”
There was silence at first and then she erupted. “What?” she said, getting up angrily from the bed. “That little—”
“I didn’t get a chance to talk to him. He didn’t see me.” The image of them flashed before my eyes, causing a sudden wave of anger inside of me. I looked at the flowers and then without thinking, I threw them on the bed.
“Aww, baby…” I heard Maddie whisper beside me, her voice almost soothing. Swiveling around, I faced her, placing my hand over my chest.
“What is this feeling? I hate it. Is this what it feels like? Jealousy? If it does, then I don’t like it.”
Maddie’s eyes reflected sympathy and understanding. She walked closer and placed both hands on my shoulders. “Was does it feel like?”
“It hurts. I feel hopeless. Sad. And then angry. Maybe at myself, because I hate feeling like this.”
Looking back at the flowers that I had carelessly thrown away, I felt guilty. Another confusing feeling. Bending forward, I grabbed the flowers again and pulled the bouquet close to my chest. Burying my face in the soft petals, I closed my eyes with a sigh.
A tear escaped the corner of my eye, falling onto the petals. “I thought what we shared together meant something to him.”
“It did. I know it did. He is just too stubborn to admit it,” Maddie argued.
