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“None of us wanted this,” I say.
They ignore me.
Rylan narrows his eyes. “Forgive me if I wasn’t thrilled with how things played out.”
“No, I don’t think I will. Forgive you, that is.”
I glance at Malachi, silently imploring him to step in, but he’s watching the other men intensely. Surely he has some thoughts about this? I don’t care if Rylan and I have fucked three times in the last two days. I’m not going to compel him to participate in this race to conception. The bond is bad enough; having a child together when he’s not fully onboard is a particularly nightmarish scenario.
“Don’t stop there, Wolf. For once in your life, speak clearly.”
Wolf pushes slowly to his feet. His eyes flash crimson. “You’re a fucking coward, Rylan. You were full of plans and strategies to free Malachi from his prison, but the moment we found a way through—a way that you suggested and participated in—you start crying about regrets. Why are you willing to keep playing the victim and holding yourself at a distance from what you truly want? We are right here.”
Rylan’s eyes have gone pure silver. “Do tell me what I want, since you seem to know.”
“Of course I know. You want what we all want.” He flings a hand in Malachi’s direction. “But that’s not the problem, is it? You’ve pined for Malachi since your falling out. You were prepared to do what it took to reclaim that relationship. It’s Mina you didn’t bargain on.”
“I do believe I’ve said that myself.” For all his icy tone, he looks ready to fly across the room and rip into Wolf with his bare hands.
“Poor Rylan, knocked on his ass by a pretty little seraph and her magic pussy.” Wolf snarls. “It must be fucking terrible to love the chains she’s unwittingly wrapped around you. That’s the real problem isn’t it? It’s not that you hate the bond. You fucking love it.”
Rylan shoves to his feet, but he only gets one step before Malachi’s there. The bigger man catches his shoulders. “That’s enough.”
I tense, expecting a confrontation. Rylan looks ready to commit murder, and from the way Wolf is leaning forward, he’s willing to meet Rylan halfway. But Malachi’s presence between them shifts the energy in the room. It’s still dangerous. So fucking dangerous.
But there’s an edge of desire now, where before there was only violence.
“Is it true?” Malachi’s words are so low, they’re almost lost in the crackle of the fire.
Rylan curses. “Yes.”
Malachi drops his hands. “Stop punishing us for what’s going on in your head.”
Just like that, I can feel Rylan’s emotions. The conflicting spiral of need and rage. A hurt that goes so deep, it makes my bones ache. Malachi all but ripped out his still-beating heart when he left Rylan. A loss he’s never gotten over; one he’s never allowed himself to get over. He’s nursed that wound like the grave of someone beloved, tending to it every single day for so long it boggles my mind.
No wonder he hates me.
He arrived, ready to play knight in shining armor for the man he loves, only to find Malachi wrapped up in me. Even before Malachi gained his freedom, my presence meant Rylan had to throw away a decade’s worth of plans and rush to the house to ensure he didn’t lose his chance entirely.
I understand all of this in the space of a second, and then the feeling is gone entirely as he gets his shields back under control. My eyes burn and I close them to try to keep the tears inside. Rylan won’t thank me for the intrusion, and if he thinks I pity him, he’ll hate me all the more.
I’m sorry.
Words I can’t say. Not if I want this to have a chance to work.
“I’m sorry.”
For a second, I think I’ve forgotten myself and said those damning words aloud. But no, that’s not my lips forming the syllables, not my deep voice speaking. I open my eyes to find Rylan staring at me. “I’m sorry,” he repeats.
The bond gives a pulse that has me damn near vibrating out of my skin. I scrub at my sternum, but it does nothing to dissipate the sensation. “I understand.”
He turns to Malachi who doesn’t release Rylan’s shoulders. “Things change, Rylan. How I feel about you hasn’t, not in all this time. But it was never going to be just the two of us for eternity. I’m not built like that.”
Rylan shudders out a sigh. “I understand that, now.” He glances at me again. “I suppose it’s not a bad thing to have an abundance of love.”
Love.
Love.
He’s not in love with me. He barely likes me. I can’t argue something’s changed in the last couple days, but it’s not love. I would know. Wouldn’t I?
Maybe that’s not what he’s saying. Maybe he just means it’s not outside the realm of possibilities now. Or something.
