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“Is that why you’re here?” I realize that sounds a little rude, so I try to rephrase that. “That came out wrong. What I meant to ask is, is that how you got the time off?”
“It’s kind of hard to play without the band’s front man,” he says simply.
“I’ve been following your career ever since I spotted you on the band’s first album cover, and I’ve always wondered why you weren’t the lead singer. You have such an amazing voice.”
He bites his bottom lip and then pulls it through his teeth. “That makes two of us. When I first signed my deal with Mopar Records, they told me that I would be the front man of the new band they were creating, and then they went out to find the rest of the band members. The moment they signed Ace, everything changed. They moved him into the front man position without talking to me about it. We showed up at our first rehearsal and it was like, surprise, meet your new lead singer.”
I shake my head. “Ace is great and all, but I have to say that you are much better.”
Jared smiles. “Thanks. I wish the label saw it that way.”
While I know he loves being the leader, he doesn’t realize that he doesn’t have to be center of attention to shine. “Jared . . . I think you’re already back on top. Look at what all you accomplished since you left. Music wasn’t ever really your dream, just something else you were good at, and now you’re so successful. Most people would kill to be in your position—people who have dreamed about it since they were kids.”
He glances down at the floor like he’s mulling over what I just said. Finally, after a long moment, he nods. “I sound ungrateful, don’t I?”
“I didn’t say that . . .”
His gaze shoots back at me. “It’s okay, London. You’re right, and that’s one thing I need to work on. I need to find a way to accept my reality and not get upset when things get messed up.”
My heart does a double thump. How I hope he means that, because the secret that I’m keeping from him is one that I hope he’ll be able to accept.
“Enough about me,” he says. “I want to hear about you. Looks like you’re doing well.”
I pick at my thumbnail. Where do I even begin? When I glance over at Jared’s face, I can tell he’s wondering why I’m hesitating.
He furrows his brow. “I know that look, London. What’s on your mind?”
I lick my bottom lip and open my mouth, but I can’t force the words to come out. This is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
I close my eyes, because if I’m going to tell him this—break this secret open that I know will hurt him—there’s no way I can look at him. “There’s no easy way to say this . . .”
“London, I just opened up and poured my heart out to you because I want you to know how sorry I am for everything that happened. You know how fucked up I am. Whatever you’re hiding can’t be any worse than the shitty things I’ve done in my life. You can tell me. Whatever it is, I swear I won’t judge you.”
His words sound so sweet, and I’m convinced that he means them right now, but I know the moment he finds out about me and Wes, his niceties will fly out the window. After all, marrying his brother is the ultimate betrayal no matter how long we’ve been separated, but by the same token, he betrayed me too. He left me for five years without so much as a word. I can’t help that the man I tried to move on with was his brother. Wes was there for me when I needed someone the most.
“Jared . . .” There’s a break in my voice already, but I know this is something he needs to hear. “I—”
Before I have the chance to tell him, there’s a knock on my front door. My body instantly relaxes like it’s been saved by the bell.
I shove myself up from the couch. “I’ll be right back.”
Mentally, I scold myself for not just coming right out and telling him. After all, he walked out on me, and no matter how nice he’s being to me right now, I have to keep that in the forefront of my mind.
Still going over how best to just come out with it in my head, I open the door, and the wind whooshes from my lungs. Wes stands there with his hands shoved in his pockets, and every nerve in my body panics.
There will be no gentle way of breaking the news to Jared now. Wes won’t have it. He still holds so much anger toward his brother, and I know shit is about to hit the fan.
NOW
JARED
It’s been five years since I’ve seen London, and had I known that this was her house when I grabbed the flowers off Mom’s counter, I wouldn’t have delivered them. I wasn’t exactly ready to see her—to confess to her all my demons—but I’m glad I did. Although things are still tense, in an odd way we’ve fallen right back into a comfortable pattern with each other, sharing things that we
can’t talk to anyone else about.
Looking back, I know now that if I had just opened up to her and told her what was going on inside my head, we could’ve probably gotten through that dark period together. But, being the jackass I was and unable to see past my own pain, I overlooked hers. By the time I realized what I had lost when I walked out on her, it was already too late to salvage her trust in me.
When I ask her who the flowers are from, she tenses, clearly uncomfortable with telling me about that portion of her life.
