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Sam plops down beside me and tosses her blond hair over one shoulder. “I love you, London, but sometimes you really are blind. Wes obviously loves you, and who knows, maybe it would be good for you to try dating him, since he’s the only member of the male species besides your dad that you’ll speak with. It might pull you out of this funk.”
“I don’t think about him that way. He’s just a really good friend.”
“A really hot good friend,” she teases, and when I don’t laugh or roll my eyes at her joke so that she knows I’m not amused, she throws her arm around me. “Okay, so you don’t have feelings for him that way. I get it. But I want you to be aware that he does feel like that toward you, and I don’t want you to string him along forever if you have no intentions of dating him. Put the poor guy out of his misery.”
I completely hear what she’s saying. I don’t want to be one of those girls who leads a guy on, but I also don’t want to lose Wes either.
This isn’t something I want to think about right now. It scares me to know that there’s a possibility that Wes won’t be in my life at some point. I need to cha
nge the subject.
“Speaking of misery, so I have to go on this blind date with you tonight?” I whine.
“Yes! I don’t do first dates with a guy I met at a party alone. You know that. I need my wing woman, and you have to go out with what I’m sure is Josh’s delectable friend to help me out.”
I laugh. “If he’s not delectable, then you’re going to owe me big time.”
She smiles. “I’ll just keep bribing you with doughnuts.”
Later that night we pull up in front of this local pool hall we hang out in from time to time called The Station, there to meet Josh and this mystery date. The parking lot is packed, and the same goes for inside the smoke-filled bar. Bodies fill every inch of the place just like any other Saturday night, and I begin searching faces in the crowd in order to locate Josh.
“Oh, there they are,” Sam says as she points toward the back of the bar.
My eyes zero in on the direction her finger motioned to, and, finally, I spot Josh standing there with a pool stick in his hand, leaning against the wall. Curiosity as to what my date looks like fills my mind, and my eyes instantly flit over to the guy Josh is standing next to. The moment my eyes land on a familiar face, my mouth falls agape.
I grab Sam’s arm, halting her from going any farther. “Hold up. My date is Wes? Are you kidding me? I could strangle you right now for not warning me about this. You know I’m not ready for this.”
Sam twists her pouty pink lips. “He loves you, London, and he’s a nice guy. Give him a shot.”
I fold my arms over my chest, silently stewing and debating turning around and walking right back out the door.
Sam’s shoulders slump when she sees I’m not pleased about this. “Look, London, I didn’t mean to piss you off. You’re my best friend, and my heart breaks every time I watch you cry over Jared. Think of this as a lovin’ push toward possible happiness.”
I sigh. How can I be pissed at her when it’s obvious that her sneaking around and plotting behind my back came from a good place? While my love for Wes isn’t anything romantic, maybe someday it could be if I figure out a way to let go. I owe it to him and myself to see if being with him can help me find happiness again.
I glance back in Josh’s direction, and he elbows Wes and then points to where Sam and I are standing. A bashful smile fills Wes’s face, and he slowly lifts his hand and mouths the word “hi” to me.
I hook my arm through Sam’s and decide that now is the time to open myself up to taking a chance on a new direction in my life. “Okay.”
Sam smiles at me, and I can tell she’s pleased that I’m giving in. “Let’s go have some fun.”
Six months after the night Sam and Josh set me up on the blind date with Wes, I find myself standing on the stage in a church. I watch the door in the back of the room just as anxiously as Josh, waiting for a girl who means so much to each of us. When the “Wedding March” finally plays, everyone in the room stands up, and the door finally opens, revealing Sam, who looks more beautiful than ever.
With her arm tucked tightly under her dad’s, Sam makes her way down the aisle, taking care to not trip over her dress and fall. Most people in this room don’t know it, but Sam is working on her fourth month of pregnancy, and with the war still in full swing, Josh thought enlisting in active duty would be a good way to support his little family. He ships out in two weeks, and Sam and he planned this wedding on the fly to ensure they get the full benefits package that the army provides.
Sam’s dad hands her off to Josh, and the pastor informs everyone that they may be seated. I stand next to my best friend on the most important day of her life as she marries the man that she loves wholeheartedly.
It’s times like these that make me think of Jared, since our plan was to get married someday.
It makes me wonder if this would have been us, standing in a church, professing our love for all to see. I’ve noticed with all the time I’ve spent helping Sam plan her wedding that I’ve been thinking more and more crazy things like this lately.
I stare down at Wes, who sits on a pew next to my dad, and when he catches me looking at him, he smiles. Wes and I have been together nearly every day since Sam forced me to open my eyes that night at the pool hall and see that Wes really cares about me. Other than Sam, he is my closest friend, and I don’t know what I would’ve done without him over the past couple of years. He’s really helped me hold everything together. I think in large part it’s just the fact that he knows what I’ve been through, and why I’m not ready to date again, that has helped a lot. He knows how much I loved his brother and knows that I struggle each and every day to forget about him and just move on, without much success.
Since it’s obvious to me now that Wes wants more than friendship with me, I’ve tried to be more conscious about not leading him on. I tried to distance myself from him and not depend on him so much, but he makes it pretty damn easy to lean on him when I need support.
“You may now kiss your bride,” the pastor says, causing a huge smile to erupt on Josh’s face, and he leans in and cups Sam’s face before planting a kiss square on her lips. We all cheer as they turn and face the congregation. “May I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Joshua Clayborn.”
Music plays and they walk out, and I follow them, wondering if this will ever be me someday. I know Wes is in love with me, but I’m still hesitant to take things to the next level . . . but maybe someday. The best I can hope for is that I will find a man who loves me enough to want to make me his forever at some point—one who will love me as much as I do him. I thought I found that once with Jared. I was wrong, but I’m still determined to not give up on love, and I pray that one day it finds me again.
