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The pleasure fades slowly, and the reality of what I’ve just done blooms. Claire is unmoving beside me, her eyes trained on the ceiling, her hands resting against the mattress.
She doesn’t seem to be in any distress, but one look at her thighs, which are stained with blood from her now taken virginity, and my cock, and I know there is an unseen ache inside of her. Anger and guilt clash like bulls in my head. She shouldn’t have pushed me, but more than that, I shouldn’t have taken from her like I did.
She deserves better, flowers, and sweet whispers. A man that would’ve prepared her and taken her with finesse. Fuck, I should’ve stopped.
I reach out and brush a strand of hair from her face. Post sex, Claire is as beautiful as virginal Claire was. Her cheeks are glowing, her eyes brighter.
“Are you… Did I….” I squeeze my eyes shut and grit my teeth. Never have I had to ask a woman if I took her too hard or hurt her. The women I fucked before Claire meant nothing to me. If I hurt them, then I did, but I couldn’t look at Claire like that. Even in my haze to get inside of her and claim her, I still took her gentler than I ever had any other woman.
Claire was different, she always has been, and now that I have taken her, owned her body, I can never let her go. My obsession with her will never fade. She is mine, forever.
“Did I hurt you? Are you okay?” I somehow get the question out after a few minutes. Claire rolls to face me, shifting her legs, and pain twists in her features like a barbed wire. She takes her bottom lip between her teeth and stares at me.
“I don’t think I’m hurt, maybe a little sore. You were just… rough.” She chokes on the last word, and the light in her eyes diminishes.
“I…” An apology rests against my tongue, but I can’t bring myself to say anything. What am I going to do? Apologize for giving her what she wanted? No. She wanted me to fuck her, maybe not like I did, but the result was the same.
“I’m going to run you a warm bath. That will help,” I say, pushing off the bed, needing to put the distance between us. There is an ache in my stomach that twists, tightening with each second that goes by.
I’m a cruel fucking monster for hurting her, but I know I would do it again. It’s why I’ve been trying so hard to push her away.
In the bathroom, I rinse the tub out and start the bath, making sure the water is warm. Glimpsing my reflection, I pause. The streaks of blood and cum on my cock are a victory of war. Her virginity is mine, and as fucked up as that is, it satisfies me to no end that she is mine and no one else’s.
I smile as I clean the evidence from my cock and walk out into the bedroom. Claire is still lying on the mattress, in the same position I left her. The slope of her back has me imagining what it would be like to take her on her hands and knees while I slap her ass. The blood rushes to my cock, and I quickly find a pair of boxers and slip them on.
Even after the damage I’ve caused her, I could still fuck her again right this second if she begged me to.
“Your bath is almost ready,” I say into her good ear and trail my finger down her spine. She moves to sit up and winces. Seeing her like this feels like a dull knife is being shoved into my chest. The pressure to be more for her is astounding. I want to do right by her, but I can’t pretend to be something I’m not. When she winces again, I’ve had enough and whisk her into my arms, cradling her to my chest.
“You don’t have to carry me. I know you don’t care that you hurt me,” she snaps.
She knows I don’t care? She knows nothing.
“Of course, I care if you are hurt. But I won’t apologize for giving you what you want, Claire. You basically begged me to fuck you, and I warned you before that I was no good. I told you I can’t love you the way you want me to. If you regret what happened, then that’s your fault,” I say while slowly placing her in the steamy water.
She tucks her chin to her chest, and her lips tremble. I know she is hurting, and I know I am part of the cause, but I don’t care. She is mine now.
“Do you… regret what happened?”
I sit down on the closed toilet. “No. I don’t regret fucking you. I’ve wanted you as long as you’ve wanted me, but my want of you is different. It’s primal, it’s a need to protect, to keep.” I look her straight in the eyes when I speak my next words. “Giving yourself to me sealed your fate. You’re mine now, Claire. I’m never letting you go.”
