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More than that, he proved to me I was nothing but an object to him, a possession to be owned instead of cherished and loved. I wasn’t a lover to him; I was just a quick lay.
I was so stupid, thinking that he could ever love me. I made a mistake in thinking he wanted more.
He will never love me, never care for me beyond protecting me and shielding me from those around me. He wants to control me, use me, and I’m done letting him do it. I’m done being the puppet while he pulls the strings.
Yes, he warned me, and it’s my fault for not listening, but I will not be that stupid ever again.
Escaping Lucca is the only way I can protect myself. If he is gone from the picture, then all my problems will be gone too.
For once, I’m not running into Lucca’s waiting arms. I’m running away, escaping the shackles that I thought would keep me safe instead of trapped.
He will never dictate my life again.
After breakfast and a shower, I grab my backpack, phone, and wallet. I won’t have my phone for long, but I have to bring it with me; otherwise, it would draw suspicion. Lucca and I drive to the university in silence, and I’ve never been so glad for the quiet.
I don’t think I could hold the tears at bay if I have to listen to his voice.
There are a thousand things I want to say but can’t, and my heart aches because of it. No matter the reason, I am leaving all I’ve ever known, my protector. The only person who has been in my life since I was eight. The only person who ever gave a damn, but it’s not enough. He doesn’t love me, and he never will.
As we pull up the school, Lucca seems a little uneasy. “Tonight, I will make dinner, and we can talk about where we go from here. I don’t want a girlfriend, but… I can’t let you go. What happened between us changed me.”
His words only drive the knife deeper because I know he is lying. He wants a girlfriend. He just doesn’t want it to be me.
I turn to him, my hand on the door handle. “You just said you don’t want a girlfriend. How did it change you if even after I gave myself to you, you still don’t want me?”
Pure anguish pinches his features. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Then explain it to someone else,” I reply bitterly and open the door to the SUV. There is no need to explain. I already know. He just wants me as a side piece. To fuck when his girlfriend is not available.
“I’ll figure this out, Claire.” His words might have fixed things before, but for me, there is nothing left to figure out. I made my choice. I look at his beautiful face one more time, those blue eyes so bright and beautiful, I would’ve done anything for him.
Without the goodbye sitting at the tip of my tongue, I turn and walk up the steps like I was walking to class.
I don’t turn around or do anything out of the ordinary. I walk the same way I always do and disappear into the hall, knowing I have to make it believable.
As soon as I reach the end of the hall, I turn around and speed walk back to the entrance. Students are bustling all around me, but my attention is elsewhere. I scan the street for Lucca’s car. He is gone, probably already on the way to the grocery store.
There is a bank on campus a block over, so I jog there. My fingers shake as I glance over my shoulder at every turn. Using my card, I withdraw five hundred dollars in four different transactions until I reach the maximum daily amount at the ATM.
Two-thousand-dollars… How far will I get with that?
It’s not a lot, but it will have to do. I shove the money into my purse and order an Uber. The five minutes it takes for the driver to arrive feel like forever. I’m afraid of what would happen if Lucca found me, not so much afraid of what he would do to me, but what he would do to everyone around me.
I have to get away from him. Have to end the obsession.
As soon as the driver pulls up, I sigh with relief and climb into the back seat. He already knows where I’m going, and when he asks me how I’m doing, and I cannot communicate back, he thankfully takes the hint that I don’t want to talk. It’s rude of me, but my emotions are all over the place. Having a conversation with some random guy isn’t what’s going to help me.
The drive to the airport goes faster than I anticipated, and I spend the time typing out a message to Steven and Tracy and booking my flight. I know when I arrive at the airport, I will have to toss my phone in a garbage can.
