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When I turn back, Beth is stretched out on her back with her head against the pillows.
She’s kicked her shoes off and folded her hands on her stomach. The belly button ring sparkles in the light. She stacked my story neatly on the bedside table.
We’re dating. Friends who are dating and who will eventually kiss. Four days could be considered eventually…yeah, I’m not stupid enough to believe that.
“I’m going to bed,” I say, giving her the opportunity to leave.
“Do you normally sleep in all your clothes?” she asks.
No. I usually take off my shirt. “This is safer. ”
“Okay. ”
Okay. I flip off the light and climb into bed.
Taking a cue from Beth, I stay on top of the covers. The heat from her body warms mine.
She’s right. She can lie in bed without touching. I inhale and her sweet scent envelops me.
Last year, our science teacher dispelled the myth that sex crosses the minds of guys every seven seconds. I’m going to have to disagree with him on that. My fingers itch with the need to caress Beth’s soft skin. I want my lips whispering against hers.
“So, I have this friend,” she says into the darkness. “Isaiah. You’ve met him. ”
“Yeah. ” My muscles tense and the images of her body moving against mine disappear. I understand that dating means I’m leaving open the possibility that she can see other guys, but I’m not fond of her discussing said guys while she’s lying in my bed.
“He betrayed me and I don’t know what to do. In Louisville, he was the only friend I had and when I came here he bought me my phone.
We talked every night or texted or both and he still calls every day and texts me a million times. I refuse to answer him and I think our friendship is over and then I talked to Scott tonight and the conversation didn’t go as I planned and I don’t know. …”
My skin prickles. It’s more than Beth being so close to me. It’s more than the need and attraction raging in my body. Beth is on the verge of telling me something. On the verge of stepping outside her wall. I urge her on. “You don’t know what?”
“Everything was so much easier in Louisville,” she says softly. The sadness in her voice is hard to miss. “I miss easy. ”
“After my game, I’ll drop you off. ” I hate the thought of it, but I’m determined to win her over. “Then afterwards, we’ll go to dinner and then maybe a movie. What do you think?”
I hear her swallow. “I think I’d like that. ”
I inhale. The clean, full intake of air feels as if it’s the first breath I’ve taken in days.
“Sometimes,” she says, then pauses. It’s a heavy pause and her struggle for words makes me want to comfort her. “Sometimes I just want…”
What does she want? I know what I want: for her to trust me, for her to feel what I feel.
But what I really want right now is for her to be okay. I extend my arm across the bed in Beth’s direction, careful not to touch her. “I’m here if you need me. ”
One heartbeat. Another. Beth stays so perfectly still in the darkness that part of me wonders if this entire evening was a dream.
Her body scratches against the comforter as she moves. One inch in my direction. A hesitation. Then another inch. My blood tingles with anticipation. This moment is huge—no doubt. I’m asking her to lean on me and Beth is actually considering it.
Come on, Beth, you can trust me. Finally, in a swift movement, she lays her head on my chest and curls the rest of her body around me.
Needs slams into me and if her hand shifts down three inches, she’ll know. I want to touch her, but do I dare? Her breath tickles my chest as she whispers, “I like you, Ryan. ”
I close my eyes and celebrate the words. She likes me. “I like you too. ” A lot.
I want her, but I refuse to let my lower body make the decisions. Slowly, purposefully, I wrap one arm around her and lay my other hand on my stomach right next to hers. This is my best attempt at friends-who-date touching.
Parts of me want to caress the warm blush that appears on her beautiful skin when I look at her with desire. Those same parts imagine me placing a hand on her chin and tilting her head up so I can kiss her. Those parts are currently trying to talk “logic” to my brain.
