AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I couldn’t stop myself from gawking a little.
“You’re… Nathaniel’s wife?”
She smirked. “I know. He’s lucky, isn’t he?” Then her smile faded as she focused on me again. “And you? Your name?”
“I’m Cordelia Van Rensselaer,” I answered.
“Cordelia. What a beautiful name, for a beautiful girl.” Her face turned a little serious. “Such a surprising thing, though. I assume you’re aware of what the boys do?”
It was a simple enough question, but I hesitated. I wasn’t sure if I should answer honestly, but decided that I’d fare better speaking the truth than by lying.
“I do,” I said. “But I don’t talk about it or say anything to anyone. I know why they do things like this, and I know who they are as people. It doesn’t make me care for them any less.”
Josephine’s brow rose, the seriousness in her face softening after a moment.
“Oh, believe me, I understand. If that’s the case, then they’re truly lucky to have you.”
I flushed.
That was the first time anyone had ever said those words to me, and I was surprised how much they affected me. My relationship with the Lost Boys had come to mean more to me than almost anything. I knew they were right for me, even if the rest of the world saw three boys who had once bullied me and hated me, even if no one else understood how I could care about all three of them equally. How I could want them to share me.
But this woman seemed to.
I didn’t know her at all, but her approval actually made warmth spread through my chest.
It struck me how ironic it was—Josephine was the embodiment of what my mother could have been. An elegant woman with money to her name, power and wealth at her fingertips. Yet she spoke with an understanding that my mother had never had—not now, and not before Dad’s arrest. I would never have been able to have this conversation with my own mom.
“Well… I think I’m pretty lucky to have them,” I said, my voice low and almost shy as I spoke the truth that had been sitting in my heart for weeks.
She nodded, smiling gently. “Few people truly understand what it’s like to be at the sides of men like my husband or your boys. I would ask why you’re here right now, but I imagine I already know. Have there been times when they didn’t bring you somewhere, and you were beyond worried sick?”
“More times than I want to admit to.” I let out a shuddery breath, biting my lip.
God, she really does know.
I had no idea how she’d so quickly pieced together that I was with all three of the boys. But she seemed to have absorbed and accepted that information without a moment’s pause. And sympathy on her face as she took in my expression made me feel like she had once been exactly where I was.
“I wish I could tell you it gets easier,” she said softly. She glanced out the window to the cloudy sky beyond, her gaze going a little unfocused as she got lost in her thoughts. “It truly doesn’t though. It just becomes… different.”
“Different, how?” I leaned forward a little, desperate for some glimpse into the future, for some hint of what loving people who lived in this world truly entailed.
“You get used to the fear, a little.” She glanced back at me, dark blue eyes clear and open. “But you don’t stop being afraid. Or at least, I didn’t.”
“Oh. Great.”
I couldn’t keep the disappointment out of my voice, and Josephine chuckled.
“You learn not to live in that place though. You’ll have to.” She patted my knee gently. “Instead of spending every day fearing what I might lose, I spend every day appreciating what I have. Because that’s all I have. Today. The future isn’t guaranteed for anyone, Cordelia. There is no amount of money or power that can protect a person from heartbreak or death. We just live closer to that truth than most people.”
Her words struck a chord with me. I knew how true they were. I had seen my father and mother’s carefully constructed life come tumbling down, and I had spent the past several months trying to crawl out from the rubble of that wreck.
“That—that makes a lot of sense.” I gave her a tentative smile. “Thanks. I hope it’s okay that they brought me here. I didn’t mean to impose or interrupt your day or anything.”
“Nonsense. I’m glad I was able to meet you. I’m sure you know that your boys have been stepping up to take on more responsibility. They’re important to my husband—he doesn’t place his trust easily, and when he does, he invests in people.”
The warm feeling in my chest died as my lungs seemed to freeze solid.
Fuck.
