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But it didn’t work.
It was far too flimsy and soft to protect me from all the dangers of the world—dangers I had stirred up by my foolish actions.
Everything seemed to crash over me all at once.
The sob came before I could stop it, my hands flying up to my face to stifle the sound. I cried into my palms, the tears streaking down my face in hot lines.
I cried for the fear that hadn’t truly hit me until now. The realization that I could have—would have—died if not for the Lost Boys. I cried for the loss of one more piece of my innocence as I realized what kinds of monsters existed in the world. But most of all, I cried for the three boys who had irrevocably altered the paths of their own lives to save mine.
I cried until there was nothing left. No more tears to spill, no more air left in my lungs. As my sobs subsided, I lay alone in the dark, gazing up at the cracked ceiling.
On the other side of our small house, my mom was probably asleep by now, blissfully unaware her daughter had almost been raped and had witnessed a murder in the same evening.
What would she have said if I had told her? Would she have been able to talk me through what I was feeling? Would she have comforted me? Or would she have blamed me? Told me it was my fault?
Thoughts tumbled round and round in tumultuous and chaotic circles in my head, and I didn’t notice my window opening until a waft of cold air hit my skin. I blinked my tear-swollen eyes as my head turned sharply to see a large body crawling through the window frame.
Dim moonlight shone off short-cropped light blond hair, highlighting the strong, broad lines of Kace’s face. Without speaking a word, he joined me on my bed, kicking off his shoes and lifting the covers to slide in next to me.
Warm arms wrapped around me, tugging me close to his broad body, and the soft scent of sage made fresh tears leak from my eyes. It was a scent that I would always and forever associate with safety. With being utterly protected.
“Kace…”
My voice was small and raspy, the word muffled by his chest. There was so much I wanted to say.
Apologies. Worries. Words of regret. Words of gratitude.
Words of love.
But they welled in my throat and stayed there. It was too much; I didn’t even know where to start. How could I possibly get through all of these emotions in one night?
But Kace just pulled me closer, until his large body seemed to envelop mine. I felt him shudder once, as if the entirety of the night was finally hitting him too, but his hand was steady when he reached up to stroke my hair, pressing his lips to the top of my head.
“Don’t think about any of it tonight, Princess,” he said. “Just sleep.”
Three
I woke to an empty bed, but the scent of Kace lingered on my pillows, making me lie there a little longer before I finally dragged my sore, still exhausted body out of bed. I could’ve sworn that maybe, just maybe, I had dreamed him up, but there was no dreaming the warmth that lingered in the space beside me.
I wish he’d stayed.
It meant more to me than I could possibly tell him that he’d come to
me, and I knew his presence had been the only thing that allowed me to sleep without overwhelming nightmares. But I wished I could’ve comforted him the way he did me, wished I could’ve helped him process what had happened—even if I wasn’t sure how to do that myself.
All three boys had claimed me at the beginning of the school year, but Kace had been the most stand-offish at first. He was quieter than the others, a boy of deep feeling encased in a hard shell of violence. He had allowed me to see so much more of him as we’d grown closer over the past months, but I knew there were still parts of himself he kept hidden.
I wanted to see them all though.
Even the parts that scared me.
And I wanted him to know that, no matter what, I would never be afraid of him.
The house was chilly, and I shivered as I slipped into the bathroom to shower again—I wasn’t sure I could ever get clean enough after having Flint’s hands on me. I dressed quickly, and as I gathered my backpack and textbooks, I could feel my nerves ratcheting up.
I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to behave for the day. I knew changing our routine out of the blue was out of the question. It was a school day, and no matter how much I dreaded it, the four of us had to go to Slateview, sit through all our classes, and eat the horrible cafeteria food as if nothing had happened. As if it were just any other day.
Maybe that was just my own personal paranoia more than the reality of the situation, my fear that changing form would end up looking suspicious, but I didn’t want to chance it—paranoia or no. The Lost Boys didn’t seem to be interested in breaking form, anyway. They arrived right on time to pick me up, and there was no mention of ditching school.
