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“And something in green also. But later. For now, shall we fit this dress?”
Kate’s doubts were trampled by the thought of Aidan seeing her dressed like a woman. “Yes. Let’s fit it.”
Lucy squealed and clapped like a child handed a new sweet, but Kate had lost her powers of speech. She stood dumbly as the modiste stripped her to her stays and pinned the dress around her. Kate was stuck simply staring at her reflection in the mirror.
When she left an hour later, head spinning, she was far poorer than she’d been, but she could hardly regret it. The dress would be delivered tomorrow evening. And two nights later she’d be in Aidan’s bed. Her heart fluttered and flipped.
Lost in thought, Kate unlocked her shop absentmindedly, absorbed by picturing herself in the dress, its simple line flattering her figure. She could see Aidan’s sun-darkened hand stroking the cloth over the curve of her waist.
Leaning against the door to shut it, she let her eyes fall closed, savoring the dream of his touch. She didn’t want to be pretty, after all. She wanted to be beautiful. Seductive. Irresistible. A new dress wouldn’t give her that, but it might come close.
She allowed herself a moment to daydream about her bright future as a seductress, but then she opened her eyes and it was just the stark lines and pale light of her everyday life. Her gaze fell on the stack of papers and she nearly groaned as she braced her hands against the door.
She had to find Gerard, or she wouldn’t know what to tell Aidan when she arrived in London. The full truth? Part of it? None?
Kate set her jaw and turned her mind to the task at hand. As she flipped through the papers, it felt as if Gerard sat on her shoulder, his presence was so heavy.
His father hadn’t been an easy man. He had been hard enough to endure as a husband; Kate could not imagine him as a father. Certainly, her own father hadn’t been affectionate, but David . . . David had been completely removed from his family. His interest had lain a mile away at the small house his mistress Iniya had shared with her children near the entrance to the plantation. Gerard had been the heir, but David’s heart had rested with Iniya and the children he’d fathered with her. Gerard had never measured up to his father’s standards, never been enough, but he’d loved his father all the same.
Kate frowned. If circumstances had been different, Kate would’ve befriended her stepson, she thought. He’d needed a friend, and she’d sometimes tried to fill that role, but those gray eyes of his had put her off, always bright, always watching. He’d been young, a few months younger than she, but his unhappiness had lent his eyes a frightening cast.
And those first few years, Kate had been in no state to help anyone, not even herself. By the time she’d awoken from her strange state of weary suspension, Gerard had been a full-grown man, and Kate had been afraid to be alone with him, aware of the heat in his eyes whenever they touched her.
Kate shivered, feeling the ghost of that gaze on her skin. She should be thankful instead of bitter. Thankful that she’d escaped that place. It had only been ten years, after all. Ten years out of a whole life she had yet to live. Ten years taken from her in Ceylon, and the jungle could keep them. She only wanted the rest of her years for herself. But Gerard would take those too, if he could.
Spreading out the next paper on the counter, Kate searched for the answers hidden within.
“Aidan Charles York, you stop right there!”
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Aidan froze, one foot on the carriage step, one on the ground. His breath steamed around the lamp before disappearing into the predawn cold. Resignation took him over as his sister’s footsteps crunched through the hard frost.
“Just where do you think you’re going?” she snapped as she stepped into the light.
“I’m returning to London, as I always do.”
“Sneaking out in the dead of night is more like it.”
“I am hardly sneaking out. I said farewell to Mother last night.”
“You didn’t say farewell to me!”
Aidan raised an eyebrow. “You and your husband had already retired after loudly proclaiming extraordinary weariness.”
That shut her up for a moment. Even in the pale light, Aidan could see the blush bloom over her cheeks. “Right. Well. The traveling . . .”
“Please don’t explain. I’m desperately hanging on to my blinders.”
She raised her chin. “Well, I heard the carriage being loaded and I’ve come to say good-bye. And to find out what exactly is going on.”
“Nothing’s going on. I don’t know what you mean.” He noticed then that she was wearing a nightdress and robe, though her feet were protected by boots. “You should get back to bed now, Marissa.”
“I’ll get back to bed when you tell me the truth.”
“About what?” he scoffed.
“About the letter Jude wrote to his father!”
