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It seemed only a heartbeat passed before she was standing before a set of carved doors.
“Your chambers,” Aidan said solemnly, swinging both doors open.
An enormous sitting room spread out before her, decorated in soothing colors of rose and mossy green. It was beautiful, perfect, as if it’d been decorated especially for her. A thick rug cushioned the floor nearly from wall to wall, swirling flowers of cream and pink and pale green across the room. The furniture was light and delicate, the pillows smooth silk. Evening light fell softly through the wall of windows, setting everything dreamily aglow.
The rooms were obviously meant for the lady of the house and Kate felt a thrill of frighte
ning anticipation, picturing herself living in these rooms, receiving Aidan here every morning as she took her tea. She could just make out the foot of the bed through a doorway. A different kind of thrill shot through her body at the sight.
A footman swept past with her satchel, interrupting her fantasy, and then two maids arrived, one bearing a tea tray, the other a ewer filled with steaming water. Once finished with their duties—and with curious glances all around—the three servants left, and she was alone with Aidan.
“Is the room to your liking?”
“It’s absolutely the most beautiful room I’ve ever seen.”
Aidan nodded, looking serious. “I’m glad. Would you like me to summon your maid?”
“My maid?”
“Yes, we found her on the best of references, and I’ve been assured of her discretion.”
“But . . .” Kate’s mind spun with the realization of what she was engaging in. “What must your household think?”
“My household? My household is happy if I am happy. And I am happy.”
Kate felt such a wild warmth inside her chest that she had to swallow several times before she could speak. “Yes, I will need help dressing for dinner,” she whispered, and Aidan smiled.
“Then I will ring for her and leave you alone.” He started to walk out, but his steps slowed before he reached the door. When he turned back, he wore a crooked smile that turned him twenty-one again. “I feel nervous,” he said, “to have you here.”
She couldn’t help but answer his smile. That warmth was still there, eating away at her in gentle nips. “But why?”
“It feels new, doesn’t it? Being here together.” He ducked his head, seeming embarrassed by his own words as he stepped out and closed the door behind him. But Kate knew what he meant. It did feel new. That same kind of newness that had urged them toward indiscretion so long ago.
He’d looked just like that when they’d walked home that day, his smile sheepish and happy, hers shy and glowing. Anything had seemed possible at that moment. Everything had been new.
Maybe that was true today as well.
Kate turned back to the luxury of the room, surprised to find laughter welling in her chest. The room was beautiful. Worthy of a princess and finer than any room in her father’s home. She strolled around, taking in the little details of beauty. Whom had it been decorated for? The previous owner? A previous lover? But no, Aidan had been clear that he’d never spent a full night with another woman. Certainly none had ever lived in his home.
With a sigh, she stroked the delicate fabric of the sheer curtains.
She’d thought she’d never even consider marrying again. But now she had this feeling inside, this joy. It was a bubble in her soul, expanding every day, crowding out her pain and her anger and even all the sharp anxiety. But she was trying not to let it grow too big, because if she let it take over, if she let it grow and grow until it filled her, became her, she would be leaving herself open to terrible pain. What would happen if that bubble popped, what would she have left? What would be left of her?
If it were only joy or love, she could ignore it. Or be satisfied with nothing more than an occasional night with him.
But she was beginning to think that Aidan actually needed her. It would never have even occurred to her. He was handsome, witty, confident. He was rich—successful in his own right. And he’d always been a happy soul. She’d never have known his life had been changed by her disappearance. Certainly, he’d admitted to her that word of her death had devastated him, but he’d been young. He’d recovered, and quite well from what she’d seen.
But he had changed. She’d been seeing him as he once was. The lighthearted younger brother of a loving family. The kind, sought-after young bachelor. The self-possessed, funny, handsome friend of everyone he met. But there were the little things he’d said in passing. The hint of steel clouds behind the grass green of his eyes. The mouth that settled into a serious line when he was thinking.
When he was near, she’d only been aware of the changes in herself. She’d been self-conscious of the loss of her youth and good-humor. So many hours had been wasted worrying about what he saw when he looked at her that she hadn’t spent enough time looking at him.
But now that she could see him, she didn’t know what to do. How could she tell him that every day she’d spent with him was a lie? She couldn’t. But she had to. Because according to the Ceylonese papers, Gerard Gallow had left for England a month ago, and she was scared to death. But here, with Aidan, she felt safe.
“I’m at a complete loss for words,” Aidan said as he took in the vision of Kate. It wasn’t just the pretty blue dress. It wasn’t the elaborate twist of her hair. It was her spirit. She knew how wonderful she looked, how delicious.
The dress was simple—full skirt, cap sleeves, and a modest neckline. But the color lay like water against her body, bringing out the beauty of her cream skin.
She knew the effect she had on him, he could see that. The way her eyes watched, measuring his looks, laughing her encouragement. She was enjoying it, and Aidan felt his body swell with lust. He had to turn away from her to stare at the fire and gather his control.
