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She nodded and set down the tray. Aidan felt a flash of regret, knowing she’d assume something far different from the truth, but he let the moment pass.
She’d donned her shift and a dressing gown before opening the door, much to his disappointment, but he was hopeful they’d be coming off later. There was the whole day ahead, after all.
They drank the marginally hot coffee and devoured the rolls, Aidan watching her greedily the whole time. He was fascinated by her, by the knowledge that he loved her, and he didn’t want to miss a thing. When he thought of her becoming a part of his family, he couldn’t stop the words.
“I love you, Kate.”
Her eyes went wide and he saw the clenching of her throat as she swallowed.
“You must know that.”
“No,” she breathed. Her head made a vague side-to-side movement. “I don’t.”
“There’s never been another woman in my home. I’ve never . . . You’re the only one who . . .”
She was shaking her head again. “Aidan—”
“This isn’t some phantom, Kate. It’s real. I won’t pretend otherwise.”
“I know that,” she said with sudden urgency. “I know it’s real. Do you think I don’t feel it?”
Thank God. Aidan relaxed back into his chair, his lungs already free enough to draw more air.
“If it wasn’t real, I’d never have come here. But it is so much more complicated than you know. My husband—”
“I spoke to someone,” he interrupted, leaning forward again in excitement. “I raised the question of divorce.”
Kate froze. The color in her cheeks seemed to dip beneath the surface, hiding itself from him.
“It might be a possibility,” he assured her. “Marissa’s new father-in-law is Duke—”
“A duke?” She surged to her feet.
He raised a hand to stop her, but she slapped it away.
“I told you to tell no one. No one. And you exposed me to a duke? How dare you?”
“I hardly exposed you. I only asked if he might be willing to sponsor your—”
“Aidan! You had no right. None! If my husband’s family finds out . . . Or my husband, of course . . . I told you not to pursue this!”
Aidan stood and paced to the window, trying to calm his temper, but he couldn’t understand her. “So you want to stay married?” he demanded. “You want to be Mrs. Hamilton, and I’ll be . . . what? The paramour you keep in a hidden cottage?”
“No! Why must you always see things in black and white?”
“What do you mean, always?”
“You know what I mean! You always have. When you could not get my father’s permission, you decided that was it. We could not marry, and it was over.”
Frustration rolled through him as a wave of fury. “We couldn’t marry! You were the one with no understanding. If we’d run to Gretna Green, your life would have been ruined! Both our reputations in shreds. I had no money, no house. How—”
“And,” she interrupted quietly, “how could that have been worse than this?”
The softness of her voice canceled out the words in his throat. The argument. The way to make her see that he was right. Kate watched him, her eyes sad and worn.
“But . . .” He shook his head. “How could I have known?”
“You couldn’t have. Just as you can’t know what will happen for us now. I only want you to see that you took that decision from me then. And I am done with letting others make decisions for me. I won’t have it.”
