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“It’s okay that you’re in charge, Eric. You’ve been doing this longer than either of us. But you can’t be in charge and constantly fight with him. He’ll leave. Or he’ll fight you until you leave.”
“Nobody’s leaving—”
“And if Jamie doesn’t step up and become responsible, he’s going to keep pissing you off. And maybe…”
“Maybe what?”
“Maybe you’ll finally realize everything you’ve given up for us. Maybe you’ll decide you’re done.” Her voice wanted to break on a sob, but she held it back by sheer will.
“Tessa!” Eric scolded as if she’d said something inappropriate.
“I’m afraid,” she said. “I’ve always been afraid, so I lie to you about little things to make sure you’re happy. But now I’m lying to you about big things, too.”
“I’m not going anywhere. How can you think that?”
“And what about Jamie?”
Eric shook his head. “What about him?”
“You treat him like a little brother!”
“He is my little brother.”
“I know, but not at work. He’s an adult. So am I. We don’t need you to take care of everything.”
“Ah. But then why would you keep me around?”
“Don’t joke. I’m serious! I don’t want to lose you.” The tears finally broke free then, raining down her face, flooding her throat.
“Jesus, Tessa.” She felt him drop onto the couch beside her. His arms went around her and she dove into his chest to sob against him. “I’m not going anywhere. Ever. I love my life. It’s not a burden.”
“You work too much. You’re stressed. You won’t let anyone help you. Instead, you just work harder.”
“Tessa, come on. I work hard for you guys.”
“That’s what I mean! You’d be free without us, Eric. And the terrible thing is…” She drew in a deep breath. “I don’t want you to be free.”
His arms tightened so brutally that it almost hurt, but Tessa didn’t try to squirm away. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“For God’s sake, Tessa, I don’t want to be free. Who would I be without you and Jamie? I’ll admit, I gave up a few things to take care of you two, but you’ve forgotten something. Mom and I were on our own until I was eight. I know what it was like not to have you. You have no idea how thankful I was to be part of a family.”
“But I heard you,” she whispered, clenching her eyes shut as hard as she could.
His hold eased a bit. “What?”
When she shook her head, he leaned back to look at her. “What’d you say, Tessa?”
She hadn’t meant to bring it up. In fact, she’d told herself she’d never mention it. But now the memory was there, and it writhed inside her, clawing its way free. “I heard you, a few months after they died…. You were talking to a friend.”
His face was only puzzled. He didn’t remember.
Tessa took a deep breath. “I couldn’t sleep. I came downstairs, and you were on the patio, having a beer with a friend. I don’t know who. The whole house was dark, and I remember thinking how bright the moon was out there, hanging over your head.”
“Tessa—”
“And then you said, ‘Of course I wish there was someone else, but there’s not. I’m all they’ve got, and it doesn’t matter how much I might want to walk away.’”
She saw recognition in his eyes first, then horror dawned with hard brightness. “Tessa—”
