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“Boyfriends? If that level of commitment is what you need to loosen up—”
“Where are they? They’re supposed to hang right under here.”
“Oh, those. They’re in my room.”
“Why are they in your room?”
“I lost my key the other day. Took me a while to figure out which replacement I needed.”
“Which way to your room?”
“There’s the eagerness I’ve been waiting for.”
“I swear to God, it’s not happening. Not now, not ever.”
John laughed. “Didn’t your mother ever tell you never to say never?”
Cameron wanted to bang his head on the nearest hard surface. Reluctantly, he followed John’s bouncing gait up the stairs.
“Sit,” John said, offering the bed. “I’ll find the key.”
Cameron sagged against the doorframe. “I’m good here.”
John eyed him from his position on his knees at the desk. “That works too.”
A startled laugh left Cameron. “You’re one of the more fascinating guys I’ve met.”
Surprise flickered over John’s face, revealing momentary tenderness and insecurity. “You think?”
“You live every day to the fullest, no holds barred. You’re all decision and spontaneity.”
Keys jangled and John gripped them, frowning. “Why does it feel like you’re dumping me?”
Saying something nice? That’s what it took for John to take him seriously? “It shouldn’t, seeing we were never together.”
“We were on the ledge and now you’re climbing off it.”
“It’s the wrong ledge for me,” Cameron said. “Far too terrifying to jump from.”
John dropped to his bed and rubbed his goatee as he stared at the keys. “It’s not just that I like jumping. I need it.” His eyes glazed in thought. “It was the hardest week of my life, moving mum.”
He laughed dryly, voice hollow. “She’s been losing her memory for years. Isabella and I have watched her decline, year to year.” John met his gaze. “We don’t know how long we have, maybe ten? Then it’ll be us.”
“John . . .”
“We have to live every day as if it’s our last.”
Cameron crossed the room and sat next to him. “I’m sorry.”
John leaned in suggestively. Cameron raised a hand and clamped it over his face, pushing him gently back. “No, no.”
He chuckled. “Worth a shot.”
Drained, Cameron left John in his room and hurried downstairs with the key.
He bowled into Isabella rounding the newel post.
Pockets of light stretched into the hall. Brighter streaks of ginger crowned Isabella’s long hair, her face cast in the shadows. Dark lips and darker eyes.
When she recognized him, she molded into a light laugh and rubbed his sleeve.
“Cameron! About gave me a heart attack.” Her grip tightened around his arm. “I’m glad I ran into you, or you me, whatever. I’ve been feeling horrible all day since leaving you without a ride at the bookstore. Very bitchy of me. I was having a tough week.” She bowed her head. “I am ashamed. You are so lovely and I’ve been making a real mess of everything lately. Your brother’s upset with me too.”
He pulled out of her hold. “I know.”
“Of course you know. You two are close. I’d hate it if any of these misunderstandings have caused tension between you. It really is all so silly. If you hear me out, maybe you can talk to him for me?” She barreled on. “I love him so much. I guess the first fight is a milestone in any relationship, isn’t it?”
“First fight?” Cameron gaped at her bold equivocation. “You cheated on him with Fred!”
“I hardly know Fred. He means nothing. Practically a figment of my imagination.”
“Then your imagination is more destructive than mine.” He cocked his head. “Did you tell Fred something about Henry and me?”
“Nothing anyone couldn’t see for themselves.”
“It was you.” He rocked back on his heel.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The debris you left when you stormed into my life.” He walked past her.
“Cameron, wait.”
He didn’t. “Your tricks won’t work on me anymore.”
Henry,
God, I messed up. I didn’t expect your dad to come into your room. He knew the moment he saw me in your bed, and I failed you because I could not hide my emotions quickly enough or make up a believable story.
It’s everything you never wanted to happen. It’s what you feared when you caught me in his office. You believed me when I said I’d never tell him, and I broke that promise.
You were right, he did not take it well.
I left immediately. Forgot my phone in the shock of it all and couldn’t write until just now. I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me. Someday.
I wish I could be there for you. A well in your desert.
Yours always,
Cameron
The thought of Henry so close to his email, and yet unable to receive it . . .
He tossed and turned in his childhood bed.
How would Henry take the news? How would he feel? How would his expression alter when he braved heading home?
The questions rose above the dizzying need to sleep, prodding him when he started to drift with a jolt to the stomach, the chest, a bubbled sob to the throat.
