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“We weren’t last night. Today I told her I was going to Austin next week to compete in the rodeo and try to find some sponsors.” He rubs the back of his neck in agitation. “She lost her shit on me,” he mutters.
“Oh, crap.”
“Yeah, I don’t understand why she’s so against me doing what I love.”
“Maybe because what you love means you won’t be here to love her,” I murmur. I kind of know how it feels to be the second choice—even if the situations are different. Sadly, Katie does, too. That’s why Jake choosing the rodeo over her hurts so bad.
“She could go with me,” he mutters.
“She’s thinking of her grandmother, Jake.”
“So, it’s okay for her to make choices over me, but not for me to do the same?” he asks. I could tell him that it’s not the same—but I don’t. I’ve never had anything I’m passionate about like Jake is with the rodeo, so what do I know.
“It’s a no-win situation I guess,” I murmur, and he grimaces, nodding his head yes. “Why are you here then?” I ask, needing to change the subject.
“I wanted to talk to you about Reed,” he says, and just the mention of Reed’s name makes the hurt boil to the surface. I’ve tried to get past it, but it’s so hard.
“Now there’s a no-win situation,” I mumble.
“He’s hurting, Callie. I’ve never seen him like this.”
“That’s not my problem anymore, Jake. I don’t guess it ever was.”
“This goes deeper than you and him, Callie. There’s something going on with him. I’m not sure what it is. I just know he needs help. I leave soon. You’re the only person I know to ask besides Jeff.”
“What do you mean there’s something going on with him?”
“I don’t know. I can’t put my finger on it. He’s jumpy as hell. He zones out on me. Like he’ll stare right at me, but his mind will be a million miles away.”
“Jake—”
“Listen, I get why you have a grudge against him. I do.”
“Jake, it’s not that,” I mutter. I am mad at him. I can’t help it. Still, I’m also mad at myself. I should have talked to Reed. I should have made smarter decisions.
“Callie, Reed fucked up. He’d be the first to tell you that if you’d let him.”
“Jake—”
“But you were his best friend and even though I’d like to think it was me, I’d be lying.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, not able to keep up with this conversation at all.
“You were his best friend. I may not know a lot about shit, but I do know Reed really needs a best friend right now.”
“I don’t know if I can be that to him now, Jake. There’s just too much between us now.”
“This sucks, Callie, but you told Reed you wanted to be just friends. You pushed him away knowing he wanted more.”
“Jake, damn it, don’t you think I know that? Can you just leave? I love you like a brother but—”
“If you really care about Reed, Callie, the truth is you don’t have a right to turn your back on him now. He only turned to another woman after you pushed him away.”
“Screw you, Jake.”
“Now you sound like Katie, only she wasn’t so nice with the wording. Will you just think about it?”
“If I say I will, will you leave me alone?”
“If you truly will think about it, then, yes. I’m leaving town and I’d like to know that you will be there for Reed and—”
“And for Katie?”
“Yeah,” he says, and I can see the pain on his face. I feel bad for him… But I feel worse for Katie.
“I’ll think about it,” I finally respond with a deep breath.
“Thanks. Katie has my cell if you need me, Callie. Call anytime, okay?”
I grunt, not bothering to answer. He’s not going to be much help with Katie or Reed if he’s in Austin. I’ll always be there for Katie. There’s no doubt about that.
I just don’t know if I have it in me to be there for Reed.
23 Reed
“Hey, Reed! Someone is here to see you,” Joe hollers from the front office of the garage.
I’m under a car, changing oil. I like working here. It numbs my brain. Most days I’m the first here and the last to leave. Then again, I don’t have much outside of the garage. I did think about going to Austin. Jake left out yesterday. I don’t know why I didn’t. I don’t know why I do much of anything these days.
“Just a second,” I call out, pushing myself so the mechanic’s creeper I’m on rolls me out from under the old Buick that I’m almost finished with. I’ve got a brake job to work on after that. Lately, it helps me to reiterate to myself everything I must do. Like, I make mental lists of what has to be accomplished so I have a goal. It makes me feel more in control and lately, everything feels so out of control I can’t think.
