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She shook her head slightly. “Girl, it’s hopeless.”
“Nothing is hopeless.” I had to believe there was a chance out of this place, because if I didn’t allow myself to have a little bit of hope, then I wouldn’t be able to go on. “Laura, you’ve been here a long time, so I can’t even begin to imagine how disheartened you must feel—but we can’t give up. How many women are here?”
“Twelve.”
“Oh. That’s it?”
“I’m glad there aren’t more because no one deserves this.”
I’d assumed there would be more, based on how big the organization seemed to be. But it was probably difficult to keep stealing women without arousing too much suspicion. Or it was difficult to find the right women that they truly believed to be angels. “No, no one does.” I started to feel defeated once again, knowing we were outnumbered, and running without direction would probably be pointless, especially if there would be consequences for that…whatever they were. “Who’s your demon?”
“Raum.”
“What’s he like?”
She took a long time to answer the question, her eyes studying the Malevolent in the windows, their darkness blocking out the light from the sun. “Living here for so long has taught me to change my perspective. I could be angry that I’m here at all, but I’ve come to appreciate Raum because he’s better than the others. He’s not cruel and vicious like the other demons. I give him what he needs, and he doesn’t hurt me.”
“Forneus said it’s a sin to hurt an angel.”
“But demons are sinners.” She made the statement simply, like that was all the explanation I needed. Her eyes eventually turned back to me. “Rules are meant to be broken. Vows shattered. Sins committed. Don’t assume you’re safe because they say you’re safe. There is no truth to this place, not when you’re in Hell.”
The stares of the Malevolent became more intense, burning into my cheek like they could hear every word we shared. My heart fluttered in my chest and not in that cute, butterfly way, but in that irregular, arrhythmia way. “All the more reason for us to find a way out of here.” I couldn’t continue this existence in a living nightmare, where reality was the same whether I was asleep or awake.
“If you come up with a viable plan, I’m in. But I don’t expect you will.” She wasn’t a pessimistic person, just beaten down by the painful existence, mentally exhausted, broken. A single moment in this place felt like a year, so years must have felt like centuries.
I didn’t judge her whatsoever. “Desperate people do desperate things…” And I was pretty desperate to get the hell out of this place.
She faced forward again, her eyes dropping and looking at the bench in front of her, her hands together in her lap.
The entryway doors opened and closed, and we were joined by others.
Beatrice and Claire.
Beatrice stood there in her dress and her wings, holding her daughter’s hand. Claire had on a dress as well, wearing her own wings. They stood together and scanned the church, taking in the space, going through the exact emotions I’d gone through when I stepped inside.
Claire looked at the windows where the Malevolent stared and inched closer to her mother.
Laura turned her head to look at them. “A child…?”
“Mom?” Claire looked up at her mom. “Can we get rid of them?”
Beatrice stared at the skulls in the window then turned away, looking helpless. “They don’t bother us. Don’t worry about them.”
“They don’t normally have kids?” I asked Laura, watching Beatrice and Claire move to a bench together and sit a few rows in front of us, watching the other girls in the front.
“I’ve never seen one,” Laura said. “I know these guys are motherfuckers, but this crosses a line.”
“Beatrice said they haven’t tried to touch her,” I whispered. “And it better stay that way.” I looked ahead and saw Claire pull her knees to her chest and try to hide behind her mom so the Malevolent couldn’t see her through the windows on one side of the church—even though they were also on the other.
I was a grown-ass woman, and I was unnerved by them. I couldn’t even imagine how a child would feel. There were closets at the front of the room, so I left my seat and moved to the aisle so I could join the girls at the front.
They both turned to look at me, as if they expected me to worship.
I opened one of the closets and found candle holders, bibles, random textbooks, art books that depicted angels in sketches, all kinds of weird stuff. And I found tape. “Perfect.” I carried everything out of the closet and dropped it on the nearest bench.
Now everyone stared at me, wondering what I was doing.
I opened the large book with angel illustrations and ripped out the pages before applying strips of tape to the corners. The Malevolent stared at me just the way the girls stared, like no one had any idea what my plan was.
