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There was a brief, awkward pause as Lars frowned and then turned to me questioningly. I had my arms full of baby poopsicle, so I glanced at Nash, who quickly scooped up Annalise. “Lars is one of the Mavericks’ D-men,” he told her. “He has a boo-boo on his arm, so he can’t pick you up. But now you can say hi face to face.”
Annalise frowned. “Does your boo-boo hurt?” she asked Lars.
“I do not have—” Lars began.
“A lot of experience with kids,” Nash finished for him, giving him a look. Lars looked confused for a minute but then nodded.
“Yes, this is true.” He turned back to Annalise. “I am happy to meet you.”
“Do you want to paint my nails? Uncle Wes said he doesn’t know how.”
“Er…” Lars hesitated, seemed to give it some thought, and then nodded. “Yes, I can do this.”
“Yay!” Annalise wiggled to get down and ran from the room.
“You guys are lifesavers!” I told them. “I’m going to get in the shower with Sir Shits-A-Lot while you’re here so you can watch Annalise. Okay?”
“Totally.” Nash quirked a brow. “And I’ll explain to Lars that when a little kid lifts their arms up, that means they want you to pick them up.”
I chuckled as I left the room. Lars had a lot of quirks due to some mental health issues he dealt with, so while we were used to him, it would be difficult to explain to Annalise that he didn’t like to be touched and was sometimes too literal. But he’d agreed to paint her nails, which would score him big points because I’d made excuses when she asked me. I’d make a mess if I tried that, and frankly, who had time? I’d been on the go since Benny woke me up just before six. Feeding, changing, making breakfast for myself and Annalise, and getting us all dressed had taken me three hours. I’d been so frazzled I’d forgotten to take her to preschool.
Benny had his head on my chest as I stepped under the warm spray of the shower. I let the water run over us and he seemed to relax under it, so we stood there for a while, letting the water do most of the work of cleaning us. He was so small and innocent, I didn’t know what the hell Ben had been thinking leaving his kids in my care. How was I going to do this? Even with Hadley helping out, I had serious doubts about our ability to raise these kids. Maybe we should have let Patrick and Susan take them. Ben’s parents were good people. I’d known them for years and until the reading of the will, we’d had a good relationship.
I squirted some shower gel into my hand and lathered us both up as best I could since I only had one arm free, and finally got out. Benny was falling asleep so I wiped him down with a towel, pulled on clean sweats and headed to his room to put a diaper on him before putting him down for a nap.
“How are you doing?” Nash had come into the nursery behind me and I glanced over my shoulder at him.
“You want the truth?”
“Duh.”
“This is the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever done.”
“When does Hadley get back?”
“Three days,” I responded.
“How long does it take to pack?” he asked.
“Well, it’s not like she’s just packing a suitcase. She has to pack up her entire apartment, all her belongings, call movers, and take care of essentially everything before moving to a new state. I’m surprised she’s doing it as fast as she is, but she needed to get back before we leave on the road trip.”
“I still can’t believe Ben’s parents wouldn’t stick around to help for a week,” Nash muttered. “I mean, we’ve hung out with them more than once and they were always so cool.”
“They’re grieving,” I said quietly, trying to hold on to Benny’s legs as he kicked and wiggled, keeping me from getting the diaper on. I put my hand on his stomach as I glanced over at Nash. “We can’t hold anything against them right now.”
“You think they’re going to fight you for custody?”
“I’m sure of it.”
Nash looked like he wanted to say something.
“Go on, spit it out,” I told him.
“Are you a million percent sure you want to do this?” He made a wide sweeping motion with his hand. “I mean, this is a lot, man.”
“But it’s what Ben and Lauren wanted,” I said quietly. “How can I not try? And even though I never thought about parenting them, I love these kids.”
“I know.” Nash put a hand on my shoulder. “And I’m here for you. Whatever you need, just give me a call.”
“Things will be easier once Hadley gets here.”
“You think?” He met my gaze because everyone knew Hadley and I were like oil and water. We bickered constantly whenever we were in the same room together.
