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“That is the loudest thinking I’ve ever heard. Don’t tell me you woke up with morning after regrets?”
“Only that we didn’t get to try that thing we talked about,” I answered honestly.
“Next time,” he promised and dropped a kiss on my shoulder.
“Cash, there can’t be a next time.”
He went stiff and pulled back. “You said that last time, Minx. Will I have to wait another two months until your itch needs to be fucked?”
“I told you I wasn’t ready for this!” I scrambled out of bed and walked naked across the room to grab my robe. “I like this,” I told him as I pointed between our bodies. “Hell, I even like you, Cash, but I’m not ready. Not for this. Not yet.” I heard the wobble in my voice, and fucking hated it. I didn’t like anyone to see me vulnerable because I never knew who’d use that against me in the future. That went double for men who would exploit that weakness for their own depraved needs.
“You keep saying that, but I don’t know what it means. Or why you’re not ready, Minx. You’re a grown woman, goddammit!”
That was the problem. On the outside, I was a grown woman, but on the inside, I was still a girl. “It means I don’t know what I’m doing, Cash, and until I do, I won’t risk it.”
His expression turned dark. “But you can fuck me when the mood strikes you?”
I reeled back as though he’d slapped me. I never realized his words could hurt so much. Hell, more than any fist I’d ever taken, and I’d taken plenty of fists. Feet, a flashlight, a lamp and even the butt of a gun. They all hurt like hell, but not like this. “I…you…,” My words wouldn’t come, so I took a moment to gather myself and pushed my emotions way down. “No, I can’t. I’m sorry. Goodbye, Cash.” I swiped a tear from my eye and fled to the bathroom, staying there until I heard his angry steps to the living room to retrieve his clothes and then out the door.
Once I was sure he was gone, I got dressed for the day, washed my bedding, and started on my homework. I had shit to do, a future to plan. I didn’t have time to spend hours thinking about the green-eyed cutie who’d shown me how great sex could be. I couldn’t think about him or his angry words or else I might do something stupid, like call him up and beg him to come back.
That means explaining why you’re not ready, the logical part of my brain reminded me. So I dug back in to my homework, highlighting and making notes before I finally finished my paper due at the end of the week.
With hours still left in my day, I decided to finish Talon’s dress so I could get started on a few new designs I’d started last week. The second bedroom doubled as my sewing studio and I spent hours in there, hunched over the machine and then the drawing table I’d found at Goodwill.
It was secondhand like most of the things in my little rental cottage, but I still loved it. With just two bedrooms, the house was more than I needed, but it turned out to be perfect for me. I’d decorated it in vibrant colors, yellow and red for the kitchen, blue and green in the small living room, and shades of gold for my bedroom. All the little embellishments, pillows and blankets, I made myself.
And I was proud to say I didn’t spend the whole day thinking about Cash. By the time I curled up in front of the television, I had only thought about him about three times an hour.
So, yeah. Progress.
Chapter Three
Minx
Driving and having my own van was one of my true pleasures in life. Magnus had told me, “A girl with the capability to drive always has an escape route. Even if you need to beg, borrow, and steal to get a ride, once you have it you’ll know what to do it with.” Coming from that big burly man, the words struck a chord. And every time I put my ass in the driver’s seat I thought of his words and the power a driver’s license had given me. It meant that each time I got behind the wheel I was choosing to come back home.
Today I wasn’t really choosing, but I had to drive up to San Diego because my business ethics course—surprise, surprise—required all students to show up for the test. In person. What the hell good was taking online courses if they could still summon you far and wide, I didn’t know. But the test was over, and I was pretty sure I kicked ass despite my shitty test taking skills. Knowing I’d mastered most of the material left me feeling confident, and that made for a relaxing ride back to Brently.
Even though I didn’t enjoy the long drive, I did enjoy the scenery that seemed to switch between lush green grass and water so blue it almost looked fake, and dry swaths of golden earth. Both gave me the kind of relaxation that comes from familiarity, from looking at a place and knowing right where I was. The first few times I drove by myself I felt panic set in at the idea that I didn’t know where I was going or how to get back to Brently even though Magnus had given me a GPS.
Now I didn
’t have that problem. It turned out, I had a damn good sense of direction, pretty ironic if you asked me. But helpful and it was a skill I tested regularly.
The day started so well that I should have known it wouldn’t stay that way. I got to school and found a parking spot, I did well on the test, and the drive home was relaxing. At least until about an hour outside of Brently when my van coughed, choked, and then died in spectacular fashion. “Damn you!” I smacked the steering wheel in frustration, but it was my own fault. Magnus told me this old van was a piece of crap, but I had to have it. And now I was stuck between two towns in the hot desert heat. I needed help, and I had only a few options.
Talon was too pregnant to do that much driving, so I wouldn’t even ask her. I would have called Charlie, but she’d left a few days ago to take a cruise, to get away from reminders of CAOS and the man the club had stolen from her too soon. That meant I had to use my AAA service which was fine, it was exactly why I paid the damn fees every year. I made the call and climbed back in the van to at least avoid sunburn and dehydration.
No sooner had I settled in with an audio book on my phone did I hear the roar of a motorcycle. It was a sound I had gotten used to over the past few years, but it always caused a rise in my anxiety. I waited for it to pass but when it didn’t I went on alert, scanning my mirrors to see where the bike had gone and more importantly, who it belonged to. I nearly jumped out of my seat when a knock sounded on the passenger window.
Cash.
“You gonna roll down the window or what?”
“Or what,” I answered like a child.
“Car trouble?”
