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“Darby should stay with me,” Clover said without thinking. Darby’s head snapped up to look at her. “We can finish this side of the house.”
“Darby?” Hadrian asked.
“What? Don’t trust her with me? I promise… I have very careful hands,” she said with another pointed wink.
Hadrian huffed and then stormed off in a fury. Upsetting him was half of the joy in her existence.
“You shouldn’t tease him so,” Darby said softly. “All you do is get him riled up.”
Clover kept her eyes focused on Hadrian’s retreat. She shouldn’t feel pulled toward that prudish, arrogant boy, but somehow… she was. “That’s the fun of it.”
Darby sighed and then gestured to Clover’s bag. “You should have another.”
“Another what?”
“Smoke.”
Clover raised her eyebrows. “You’re condoning my smoking? Just a second ago, you said it wasn’t a good idea.”
“It’s not, but your hands are shaking.”
She hastily clasped them behind her.
Darby smiled again shyly. “You feel better when you have one.”
She did, but she hadn’t thought anyone noticed. Kerrigan knew about her condition. She simply hadn’t told the others. It wasn’t their business. Had Darby figured it out all on her own?
“All right,” Clover said, pulling out another smoke and bringing it to her lips.
“Let me.” Darby stepped forward and managed a flicker of fire magic to light the smoke.
Darby had never shown much affinity for magic, not like Kerrigan. It must have taken a great deal of concentration to light the cigarette.
Clover took a good, long pull on the smoke, breathing in the healing loch. It might be illegal, but it was the only thing that kept the pain back.
They stood together in silence as she finished her smoke. Darby purposely looked away from her and watched the crowd to see if anyone would appear. No one did.
“Do you…” Darby began and then bit her lip.
“Do I what?” Clover asked, stamping the smoke out on the ground and feeling like a new person.
“Do you like Hadrian?”
“Sure,” Clover said with a shrug. She did like Hadrian. Maybe more than liked him. It was why she couldn’t stop herself from poking at him.
Darby’s face crumpled slightly. “I see.”
“So, what if I do, Darbs?” Clover prodded.
“I just thought you liked…”
Clover waited, but Darby didn’t finish. “Say it.”
“Girls,” Darby finished on a whisper.
“Ah,” Clover said, a smirk crossing her features. “I do like girls.”
Darby’s look of confusion was adorable. Her little nose in the air, her eyes darting here and there, as if she were trying to make sense of it all.
Clover stepped forward until their bodies nearly touched. Darby hiccuped in alarm and tried to step back, but there was nowhere to go.
“I like both. I like boys, and I like girls. Actually, I just like everyone.”
“Everyone?” Darby asked.
“Some people don’t grow up feeling like a boy or a girl,” Clover said, speaking from experience. “Some people just grow up feeling like a person. I don’t feel binary about the whole thing. I’m open to all sorts of love.”
“Oh… okay.” Darby chewed on her bottom lip.
“I’m open to this,” Clover said.
Before Darby could say anything, Clover tipped her chin up and pressed their lips together. Darby’s lips were so damn soft and sweet. As if she were made of something that much purer. Darby was too damn good for her. That fact had always been known. But standing there at some rich, fancy-ass party, wearing a ridiculous gown, talking about love, she hadn’t been able to hold back. All she’d done for the last year around Darby was hold back. And dammit, this would all go down in flames, but she wanted one taste of the sweet elixir before giving it up forever.
Darby stumbled backward a step. Her hand went to her lips. Those perfect, innocent eyes were wide with alarm.
“What’s wrong, Darbs?” Clover asked as quiet as a mouse. “Don’t you want this?”
“Yes,” she whispered before she could stop herself.
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I can’t,” Darby said with a worried shake of her head. “Sonali… she doesn’t know. She’s been talking marriage prospects.”
Clover’s face darkened. “Marriage prospects,” she said hollowly.
“Yes. She’s going to bring in gentlemen after the tournament.”
“Gentlemen,” she said, her voice rough around the edges. “But, Darby… you don’t like boys.”
“I know,” Darby said, her eyes filling with tears. “I cherish this kiss, my first kiss, Clover. I always will. But it can never happen again.”
Then Darby ran away down the stone steps into the garden. Her brilliant gown flowing out behind her as she raced away. Clover had always known she would never get to keep someone like Darby. One kiss should have been enough. Instead, all she felt was heartbreak.
41
The Past
Running wasn’t her smartest move.
She just hadn’t been able to stand there and listen to Audria’s soothing words, the words she had waited her entire life to hear. They weren’t feasible. Nothing Audria had said even made sense. There was no world that Kerrigan could go back to and become Lady Felicity, First of the House of Cruse again. The House of Dragons had shaped her beyond recognition. She wasn’t a princess, not even a lady. She was a fighter, a weapon, a survivor.
