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“So, tell me what happened,” I said and turned so I could watch Drake’s face. He looked haggard, his eyes dark under a frown.
“The same things they asked me at the hospital. This time, McDonald showed me the letters and gave me a list of dates to check. I imagine they’re the dates that Lisa has claimed we were together plotting your death.”
“Oh, God, Drake,” I said, a surge of adrenaline going through my body. “What a crazy bitch she is. Doesn’t she think the police can check those emails to see if you sent them? Doesn't she think you’ll check and can prove you weren’t together?”
Drake shrugged. “She claims we were together secretly at functions. That we snuck off to meet in broom closets and basements. It'll take time to do the forensic work on her computers to see where those emails originated.”
“She’s lying, so I’m sure they'll find out soon enough. You can prove you were with other people on those dates.”
“I hope so, but I did often get up to leave the concert to take a call from the hospital or go to the washroom, for Christ’s sake. How can I prove I took a piss and that I didn’t meet with Lisa instead? Unless they have video footage of me standing at a urinal, I don’t know how I can prove anything.”
“The hospital will have records. Your cell will have records. You weren’t with her,” I said adamantly. “There’s no way she can prove you were.”
“It’s all about reasonable doubt,” Drake said, his voice tired. “If she can make them doubt my statements, they could arrest me. I’ve read about cases where innocent people are convicted. It’s not necessarily a given that I’ll be safe.”
I sighed and leaned my head back, closing my eyes. I was tired, and had a bad night of sleep, even though Drake got up with Sophie to give her a bottle of expressed milk. My sleep was plagued with weird dreams, and I felt exhausted even though I napped during the day when Sophie did.
Besides that, my nipples still hurt like hell when I fed Sophie and at times, tears would run down my cheeks from the short intense pain. Elaine suggested I quit nursing but there was no way in hell I was going to give up. The midwife told me that it sometimes takes eight weeks before everything was good. It had been more than eight weeks since I started nursing Sophie.
I kept holding out for the day when it would be easy.
“Come here,” Drake said, his voice low. “I need you.”
I turned my head and saw him looking at me, an expression of desperation in his eyes. I knew what he meant, but I wasn’t ready yet. He told me he’d wait and let me signal to him when the time was right for us to resume our sex life, but that wasn’t now. Especially not today, when I felt so crappy.
But he looked so forlorn, leaning back, his head against the back of the sofa, his body limp. His expression tugged at my heart, but my body didn’t respond to the idea of us being sexual yet.
“I’m sorry,” I said and shook my head. “I can’t.” Then, my eyes filled with tears and I glanced away, unable to stand the look of rejection on his face.
“No, no,” he said and reached out to me. “I mean, just for a hug. I need to feel your warmth. I promise, no sex, okay?”
“I’m so sorry,” I said and covered my face with my hands, crying in earnest now. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m so tired all the time. All I want to do is sleep.”
I felt his arms go around me, pulling me against his body and onto his lap and I didn’t fight.
“Shh,” he said, his voice soft and warm. “Katie, Katie…” He kissed my forehead and my cheeks and tilted my head up so that I had to look at him. I finally met his eyes and there was complete sympathy for me. “You’re still getting over a major trauma. I don’t expect anything from you except getting better. I’ll do anything I can to help you. I told you I’d never push and I meant it. All I want is to hold you and for us to comfort each other.”
I wiped my eyes and nodded. Then, I leaned my head on his shoulder and sighed, giving in to him. His body felt so damn good against mine, so warm and firm and he smelled so good, his cologne bringing back so many good memories of our life together. I wanted to be lovers again, but at that moment, I was still so tired and felt so worn out, I couldn’t imagine doing anything sexual.
“One of these days,” I said and slipped my arms around him. “We’ll get back on track as a couple.”
“Whenever you’re ready,” he whispered, his face tucked into my neck, his lips beside my ear. “I’ll leave it up to you. Just sit with me for a while…”
So I did. We sat together like that, me straddling his hips, my arms around him, my head on shoulder. He said nothing and did nothing, and I said nothing and did nothing. It was nice to sit like that and feel connected physically to him the way we once were.
So much had happened so quickly in our lives. My pregnancy had been difficult, with me being nauseated for so long. Then, the problem with Lisa, and how Drake felt he had to pull out of the program because of her. Then the attack and my surgery, Sophia’s premature birth. Now, the investigation and the way Drake had been publicly outed as a member of the BDSM community. How it affected his Foundation…
We both needed a vacation.
“I wish we could run away, the three of us,” I said, thinking of a trip to the Bahamas. “We could stay at the hotel where we stayed before.”
“We will,” Drake said. “As soon as this is over. As soon as Detective McDonald gives me the all clear to leave the state, we’ll fly there for a couple of weeks. You, me, Sophie and the sun and surf. It will be wonderful.”
I pulled up and looked in Drake’s eyes, smiling at him. He was such a sweet sweet man, underneath the Dom and highly skilled surgeon persona.
I was so incredibly lucky to have him.
At that moment, I was filled with so much love for him and for Sophie that I felt as if my heart would burst.
