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“Why does it sound like you’re about to say good-bye?”
The wind picked up then, and she shivered against him, not liking the silence.
“Jake?”
A hint of sorrow touched his eyes and then was gone in an instant.
“I have to go to Boston for a few days.”
“Boston.”
He nodded.
“Boston, as in Barbie doll?”
He frowned. “Lily is in Boston, yes.”
Something hot and furious rushed through Raine. He’d just spent the last two days and nights with her. Loving her. And now he was off to see Lily St. Clare?
“Wow,” she said and reached for the door handle. “I must suck at this whole sex thing, you know, if the minute you leave my bed you’re headed for Barbie.”
“Raine, it’s not like that.” The guarded tone should have been a warning, but it was one she ignored.
She arched an eyebrow, suddenly raw inside. “What’s it like then? We’ve never had that conversation. The one about Lily. So, what’s her story?”
Jake shoved his hands into his front pockets and studied her for a few moments. “Babe, I don’t know where this is coming from. Lily is a good friend…a close friend, and she’s got some really bad shit going down right now. Her brother is dying, okay? Her brother, a guy who served with me, is dying, and she has no one else who gets what it’s like.”
When had the warmth fled? The intimacy? Guilt slithered through Raine and nestled under her skin because she knew she should feel something more than anger toward a woman who was about to lose her brother. But she couldn’t help the way she felt, and at the moment it felt as if Jake was choosing Lily.
Right or wrong, there it was.
“Okay, I get that. I do. But what is she to you? What’s Lily and Jake’s story? Have you fucked her?”
If he was shocked at her language, he didn’t show it, but he was angry. That she could tell clear as day. He got that look in his eyes, the blank one. The one she hated.
“Christ, I don’t have time for this.” He ran his hands through his hair in agitation. “Lily was there for me when I needed someone. When I thought I was at the end of my rope. I can’t explain how or why or… She saved me from myself.”
The hurt inside Raine exploded. It was red-hot and it filled her vision until all she could see was darkness.
“She saved you.” Hot tears burned the back of her eyes.
What about me? She raged inside. What about what I gave you? What about what I lost?
“Good for Lily.” She yanked on the door. “Good for you.” Raine slipped inside her car. “I’m glad you had someone, Jake. I really am.”
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
“Shit, Raine, don’t—”
“Was she there the night I called you? The night I needed someone so badly, it felt like I was dying? Was she the woman who answered your cell?”
“What are you talking about?” he asked harshly, his face white.
“You don’t even know, do you?” she shouted. “I called you because I needed you. Because I was dying without you.”
“When?”
“Does it matter when? What day? What month? You were with someone else, going on with your life, while I was stuck in hell. You weren’t there for me, Jake.” A tear slipped down her cheek and she wiped it away angrily. “No one was.”
