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“You didn’t do anything to me, Dirk,” she assured him, her voice catching slightly. “Nothing I didn’t want.”
“You didn’t want this,” he scoffed, gesturing toward the pregnancy kit.
“No, I didn’t.” She pulled back from him. Her eyes glistened with tears, but he’d never seen her look more sure of herself. “Not like this. Never like this. But if that test is positive, I will be okay.”
“You’ll keep the baby?”
She nodded.
“I’m sorry.”
She stared him in the eyes, overflowing tears silently streaming down her cheeks. “For?”
“This. Taking advantage of you that morning.”
“You didn’t take advantage of me any more than I took advantage of you. We needed each other.”
“What we did shouldn’t have happened,” he reminded her, so why was he holding her, leaning in to press another kiss to a teardrop on her cheek?
“No,” she agreed, “but it did happen and we can’t change the past.”
“Or the consequences of that past.” If only he could. Damn, there he went with another if only.
“True.” She sighed, closing her eyes, opening them with strong resolve replacing her tears. “A baby wouldn’t be the end of the world. Regardless of what the test shows, I will make the best of what life gives me.”
She would, too. Dirk could see the determination and willpower reflected in her eyes. Knew enough about her to know Abby always made the best of any situation life presented. She was a glass half-full kind of woman.
Dirk had moved beyond glass half-empty years ago. His glass had been drained dry the moment his wife and daughter had taken their last breaths. After that, he’d tossed the cup against the wall, shattering the remains to bits.
“That’s big of you, considering you’re talking about the rest of your life.” He couldn’t keep the pain out of his voice. “A child is a big responsibility.”
An odd expression on her face, Abby searched his eyes. “The biggest, really.” She gripped his hand tightly in hers, a glimmer of uncertainty surfacing. “Promise me you’ll try to be happy, too. Maybe it’s crazy, but I need to hear you say that before we know, Dirk. Please.”
Happy? She had no idea what she was asking of him. How could he be happy if he’d made her pregnant? He’d given all his love to his wife and a beautiful little girl with straw-colored hair and big blue eyes, and that love had been ripped from his soul. He couldn’t do that again.
When he didn’t answer, Abby sighed, dropped her forehead against his. “Maybe it’ll be negative and all of this will have been for nothing. It’s probably been three minutes.”
Dirk was sure it had, but he didn’t move away from where he stared into Abby’s eyes. He wasn’t a fool. He could see that she did need to hear him say he’d try to be happy. He didn’t understand why, couldn’t begin to fathom why, but in her eyes he saw beyond the happy front she put on to the world and saw real need. Need unlike any he’d ever experienced. Need that made him feel emotionally impotent and protective at the same time. Abby’s need gutted him.
The thought of disappointing her filled him with mixed emotions. She was the kind of woman a man felt inclined to protect, a sweet, wonderful, generous woman who gave a hundred and ten percent of herself to those in her life.
She’d welcomed him into her bed when he’d needed her.
Sex with her had been phenomenal and had provided his first moments of peace in years. Yet he’d known Abby didn’t give her body lightly, that if they continued, she might fall for him and want things he didn’t.
But whether or not he wanted those things, if Abby was pregnant, he’d be forced to accept what fate dealt him.
She wanted him to say he’d try to be happy if the test was positive, if she was pregnant with his baby.
He couldn’t do it.
“You read the test,” she urged, her eyes searching his.
Without a word, he picked up the test, registered the unmistakable plus sign and felt his stomach drop down the chimney lickety-split. “You’re pregnant.”
“I am?” Abby grabbed the test from his hand, studied the results. “I’m pregnant.”
He’d said that.
