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“She told us that a few weeks ago,” I state dryly. “Dare I even ask how you know? When it comes to Granny, why am I not surprised? “Please tell me you can’t see it in my face or read it in my eyes. That would be creepy.”
“No. Of course not. Daniel’s grandma told me. We’re good friends, she and I. We weren’t even hoping you two would meet at the ball. I mean, maybe, but we didn’t plan it. I never would have suggested it, because I know you’re cursed and the curse will be the one guiding you, not me, as much as I want to. I guess I’m just here to help you along your way.”
“You knew I was pregnant and you said nothing? Even though- even though that’s really fast? Even though it was a- a surprise?”
“I didn’t, because I wanted to give you time to tell me. I’m sorry I had to blurt it out, but if you’re worried about Daniel doing what your dad did, I would say, don’t be. If you think, in your heart of hearts- that squishy space deep down inside of you, and no, I’m not talking your G-spot-”
“Christ, Granny, why would I think you were talking about that?”
She cackles and slaps at her thigh again and I can’t help but smile just a little. “You see? A smile never killed anyone. Now. Your heart of hearts. That squishy place that-”
“Not my G-spot, I know.”
Granny snorts. “I was going to say that squishy spot that is full of intuition, that place where you feel at peace, that place where you just know. If that spot is telling you that you can’t trust Daniel, or that he’s not the one, then maybe you’re right. Maybe he’s not your soulmate. As the father of your child, I know you’ll make room for him in your life and that you’ll figure it out together. You’re both mature, good people, at the very least, and you’ll both do the right thing. But if that spot is telling you to let loose, trust, to fall, to open yourself up, to get invested, then I would do all of those things, even if you have a thousand doubts, because doubt is normal. It’s biological. It’s how humans survive. And above all, remember that Daniel isn’t your dad. I don’t need a squishy spot to tell me that. He’s a good kid. He was left behind just like you were, raised by his grandmother, just like you also kind of were. I don’t know him well, but I know his grandmother- not as a best friend, but I know her well enough to know that she’s good shit and would have raised Daniel to be the same.” One of Granny’s brows arches up. “There. Was that the talking down you needed?”
“I- I guess so. Yes, yes it was. Thank you, Granny.”
Granny wraps her lovely, expensively perfumed, pink clad arms around me and hugs me tight. ‘You’re a vibrant, smart, talented, lovely young woman. You don’t need me to tell you about how a life unlived isn’t a life at all. That’s not Leandra. My Leandra is tough. My Leandra had to put up with four older oafs of brothers and cousins her whole life. My Leandra took a risk and opened up her own boutique and became a success in her own right. Most of all, my Leandra is going to be a wonderful, wonderful mother to her own baby girl.”
That finally does it. The waterworks start flowing. Pretty soon I’m a blabbering ball of snot and tears, and my granny doesn’t mind at all. I don’t know how she knows it’s a girl. If she’s sure, then the baby probably is. Instead of thinking about having to raise her on my own to be an equally proud, strong, loving, wonderful woman, all I can think about is how I’d like to do that with Daniel. I know he’ll be a great dad. I know he’s a good man. I know he won’t twiddle off like my dad did, or like that asshole, Jackson did to Deb. I know it all in my squishy place.
What I don’t know is how I’m going to undo that text. I can’t unsend it. I can’t take it back. I can’t just say that I’m sorry for having another major moment of doubt, but it’s over now. What I should have done was what I knew I should have. Talked it out, waited it out. I shouldn’t have leapt into action.
“I don’t know how to fix it,” I sob against Granny’s shoulder.
I can hear the smile in her voice, even though I’m looking straight into a sea of pink and not at her face. “The same way he tried to fix it with you. Only, don’t send the wrong bouquet. Speak without speaking. Floriography.”
