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Dad drove me to school again. All the way, he talked about Jesse and how proud he was of him because of his school grades.
"Despite his activities and being a freshman, he's doing better than I did. Don't tell him I told you," Daddy added. "No sense blowing his ego up any more than necessary. The truth is, I nearly flunked out after the first semester. My mind was on other things."
I shook my head in disbelief.
"You did?"
"Yes, Zipporah, we all make mistakes and perform less than perfectly. Don't you think you have to live up to any legends here."
Was he making all this up to help me feel better about myself and about what I had kept secret concerning Karen's terrible experiences with her stepfather?
"There is good reason for distinguishing between the actions of minors and the actions of adults," he added. "Not that it serves as a total excuse, mind you, but at least it helps us understand. Do you understand?" he asked.
"Yes," I said. I did. He was giving me an out, and I was eager to wrap myself around it as I would a teddy bear.
The school day went much the same as it had the day before for me, except that I was somewhat more alert in class. One of the other girls, a borderline zero in Karen's eyes, Jackie Forman, was actually very nice to me.
"It must be hard for you," she said between classes when we walked beside each other in the hallway. "You're probably in a bigger daze about it than anyone."
I nodded.
Later, she joined me at lunch, and then Sally and another girl, Terri Buckner, a friend of hers, joined us, too. No one talked about Karen. Our conversation was built around our classes, some upcoming activities at school, and the impending summer break, what everyone was planning on doing. For a little while, at least, I felt almost normal. I believed I could come back from all this and enjoy my high school years. What was it my grandmother, Daddy's mother, always said? "This too shall pass."
Everything does eventually, I thought.
Maybe I would be all right after all. Maybe even Karen would.
Daddy was there waiting for me in the parking lot. I had been so happy about making new friends and participating in school, I actually forgot about what awaited me. The sight of him filled my stomach with snowballs. I hurried to his car and got in.
"How are you doing?"
"Good," I said. "I got an A on my English paper. Mr. Whittier stopped me to
tell me before I went to my last class. He had corrected the papers during his free period."
"Wow, that's great."
"Jesse helped me," I confessed.
Daddy smiled. "That's legal," he said. "Any familial assistance on a theme paper is okay. That's why they call it homework." We both laughed.
I don't deserve him, I thought. I don't deserve the family I have.
We pulled into the parking spot for visitors at the police station twenty minutes later. He shut the engine off but sat there.
"The big question they are going to have for you, Zipporah, is why didn't you tell them all this the first time? Have you thought about that?"
"I swore to Karen that I would never tell," I said. "I promised."
He nodded. "Okay. Let's go."
This time, when we entered the chief's office, there was a tape recorder on the chief's desk. The two detectives were in the seats they had been in, and the chief was behind his desk. Chairs had been set out for us.
"Do you have any objections to our recording this interview?" Lieutenant Cooper asked Daddy immediately.
"No," Daddy said. He nodded at me, and we sat. "I'd like a copy of the transcription, however."
"Understood," Lieutenant Cooper said. He turned to me. "So, apparently there was some significant information that you withheld the last time we spoke."
