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"Why not what?"
"Why am I not invited?"
There was something incredibly invigorating about arguing with Edwin this way, their tones similar to the spats they had when they were younger but with the stakes and emotions so much higher. With him standing so close to her, his dark eyes flashing dangerously, her chest was feeling tighter and tighter. She desperately wanted to back away but she refused to back down. It felt akin to poking a tiger with a stick and wondering how long the beast was going to allow such a thing.
Eleanor licked her lips and saw her husband's eyes drop down to watch her tongue. The room felt heavy with tension that had to break at some point and she had no idea which direction it was going to crack in.
"Perhaps I wish some time away from you."
Something like hurt flickered across Edwin's face and Eleanor felt wretched. She did wish time away from Edwin, to think and to talk to her mother, to see what he would do with that time, to give him enough space to test his interest in her... but she didn't wish to hurt him.
"Why?" he asked softly, raising his hand to brush the backs of his fingers over cheek. A shiver went through her at his touch. "I thought we were getting along well enough."
Well enough, she thought, a little despairingly. That summed up their relationship. She had fallen in love with him and had no idea if he was in love with her or if he was just indulging her the way he thought he was supposed to. Many ton marriages could be described as the couple getting on 'well enough' while the husband had his mistresses and the wife had her lovers. Eleanor couldn't imagine letting another man touch her the way Edwin did and the idea of him touching another woman in that way made her sick. She knew that he'd had lovers before her of course, but that didn't bother her as much because he hadn't been hers then. Just the thought of him taking a lover now made the inside of her chest ache as if her heart might shatter into pieces.
The need to know what direction their marriage would go in was overwhelming to her. She knew that her need to separate herself from him wasn't entirely rational, that like the other tests this one might not give her the definitive answer that she needed... but it didn't seem to matter what she said to prompt him, he never responded verbally with any assurances of love. Just of affection, caring... the kind of emotions one might have for a friend or a woman that he'd known all his life.
Hearing Grace talk about Irene's long-time infatuation with Lord Brooke had made Eleanor wonder if Edwin felt the same way but had married her anyway to make their families happy. She knew very well that her father had arranged the match. Would Edwin have denied her father anything?
It was in her nature to test limits and boundaries, but she'd never tested anything so important as her husband's feelings for her.
For her, well enough was just not good enough.
"I don't have to explain myself to you," she said, although the truth was that she couldn't think of an explanation that sounded at all reasonable and that didn't give away her own feelings towards him. Edwin already had enough weapons to use against her, she didn't need to hand him another.
Studying the closed expression on his wife's face, the hint of resignation and sadness in her clear blue eyes, Edwin felt a rising panic. He realized that in many ways he'd taken Eleanor quite for granted since their marriage, despite knowing that it hadn't been her choice. While she had run hot and cold in her behavior with him, he'd never worried that the coldness might actually become so dire that she might leave him, especially since he could always count on her hot passion in the bedroom no matter how she behaved during the day. It had frustrated him, but never worried him.
Now he was beginning to worry.
He'd thought that he could read Eleanor, that he knew her well enough from their long acquaintance not to be truly shocked by anything that she did, but hearing Irene say that they were going on a trip to get space from their husbands had knocked his notions completely sideways. He didn’t want her to go away without him, he hadn’t considered it and the idea of being separated from her filled him with a longing that he knew he’d never admit. What could be her possible motivation? If she had wanted to run to her parents without him after the first time he'd disciplined her then he could have understood that, but she hadn't.
So why now? Why this silent yearning in her eyes, this lingering sadness and unhappy tilt to her beautiful lips?
It was making Edwin feel quite frantic and the immediate thought of one of the usual symptoms of unhappy ton marriages popped into his head. After all, this marriage had not been Eleanor's choice, even if he thought that she had accepted it and come to enjoy it even.
"Is it another man?" he asked harshly, his insides feeling strangely tight and heavy.
Eleanor's eyes widened and she stepped back; he immediately reached out and gripped her arms, fighting to urge to haul her against him. The most incredible rush of possessive jealousy roared inside him, shocking him to his core. He'd never felt such a way in his entire life and despite the shock on her face, her silence was killing him.
"Is it?"
The rage on Edwin's face fascinated Eleanor; she could feel his hands tightening on her arms, his body shaking with thinly leashed emotion. When she'd set out to bait the tiger she'd never imagined su
ch a reaction. Part of her leaped in joy, another part worried that his rage was only because he didn't want someone touching what was his - especially before he'd gotten an heir - not because it had anything to do with her.
"Eleanor." The way he growled her name, so dangerously threatening, had her shaking her head.
"No..."
"Good. There won't be, Nell, not for you. Not ever." The wild look in his eyes almost had her backing away against except that he hauled her close and kissed her. His lips were like a brand on her mouth, his tongue pushing in to taste and ravage her; she felt breathless from the tight band of his arms around her body, whimpering as she felt her ribs actually creak from the pressure.
This was not the reaction she'd expected.
But she loved it. His possessiveness thrilled her. When the kiss ended and he picked her up over his shoulder she didn't even do anything more than squeal his name, her hands clutching at his jacket as he carried her off to their bedroom, one hand wrapped around her legs, the other resting on her upturned bottom.
******
He wasn't sure he believed her. While Eleanor was usually a very truthful person, she'd taken so long to answer that he wasn't entirely sure that she was only telling him what he wanted to hear. The revelation that he didn't know what was going on inside her beautiful head tore at him. The thought that their marriage might turn into the usual ton arrangement made him want to lock her away and never let her out of his sight. He was having trouble convincing himself that such a tactic would not be feasible.
