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I bite my lip, nervous to tell my friends even though there’s no going back on my decision now. “Well, he’s performed oral sex on me twice since then and fucked me with a vibrating dildo, so what do you think?”
Charlotte spits her mimosa across the table, Noelle starts to choke on her pancakes, and Penelope throws her head back in laughter, holding her stomach as people around the restaurant glare at us.
Sputtering, Noelle fights to gain control of her breathing. “Jesus. Warn a person before saying something like that, will you? Why do the three of you always say shit like that while I have liquid or food in my mouth?”
“Penelope says stuff like that all the time,” I argue, gesturing toward her with my hand.
“Yes, but we expect that from her, not from you, Amelia,” Charlotte counters. “My God, Amelia? Who are you?”
“I honestly don’t know, but this man is making me act insane like my conscience has fled my brain, and now my vagina is calling the shots.” I throw my hands up in the air. “This isn’t me. I’m not the girl that has oral sex in the middle of the day in my office!”
“Why not? I think every girl should be that girl at least once in her life,” Penelope snickers. “And I knew it was coming to this. I’m just glad you finally gave in.”
“Well, things were going well until Brayden called me on Friday and Ethan saw his name on my phone screen.”
Charlotte winces. “Did you and Ethan agree to be exclusive?”
“Yes, and I had every intention of canceling on Brayden. In fact, I know he was returning my call so that I could do just that. And that moment would have been the perfect opportunity if Ethan hadn’t been there.”
“So, how did Ethan react?”
“He left. Told me to end it before things went further.” I sigh, shaking my head. “Maybe I should just end this thing with Ethan too. It’s uncharacteristic of me to do something like this in the first place, let alone with a man that I have to see every day.” I stare across the restaurant in thought. “This can’t end well, but there’s something about him that makes me want to keep going, like he’s a puzzle I want to figure out. Knowing he’s a dad explains part of it, but I know there’s more to him than that. He’s so hot and cold, though, I feel like I’m experiencing whiplash, but I’m already attached to his dick and his tongue.”
“Isn’t it crazy that we can get attached to something so ugly?” Noelle interjects. “Like once we find one we like, it’s suddenly the best dick we’ve ever seen?” Noelle chuckles.
“I think Damien’s dick is beautiful,” Charlotte says matter-of-factly.
“That’s because you’re sleeping with him. Once your heart connects, you’re inclined to love the dick attached to the man. From there on out, his dick is perfect, his dick is beautiful, and all other dicks are still in the ugly category.”
“The woman has a point,” Charlotte concedes.
“Does the same thing apply to vaginas though?” Noelle asks. “I mean, vaginas aren’t necessarily the most beautiful thing either.”
“No. Vaginas are much better looking than penises,” Penelope interjects. “Besides, I think men are so entranced once they look down there, the only thing going through their mind is, ‘I wanna put my dick in there.’”
We all share a laugh. “Sounds about right. So what do I do, girls?”
“Well, did you call things off with Brayden?” Noelle asks.
“Yes. I spoke to him later that evening and told him that while I think he’s a great guy, I didn’t feel a strong enough connection.”
“And have you spoken to Ethan since then?”
“No. I don’t have his number. And besides, even if I did, I don’t think this is the type of conversation to have over the phone.”
Penelope is the first to offer her opinion. “I think the answer is clear. Your mind and body have already decided for you, Amelia. I think you’re just looking for validation from us.”
I sigh, swallowing down the truth. “I’m curious. I want to see where this goes, but part of me is scared too.”
Charlotte reaches over and places her hand over mine. “I felt the same way with Damien, but all you can do is take it one day, or one orgasm, at a time.” She winks at me. “But like you told me, make sure you have boundaries in place. Sometimes you just have to take the risk.”
“Why can I give everyone else relationship advice and talk them through critical moments of their lives, but when it comes to my own, I feel lost?”
“Because you’re human. And if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be so damn good at your job.”
