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“Everything. Particularly how you never want to get married again.”
Ethan shrugs, acting angry right back at me. “Well, what do you want me to say? That’s how I feel. Although right now, I’m fucking pissed that my mother brought this up, and I wasn’t able to talk to you alone about it.”
“Yeah, me too.” I point a finger at my chest. “I feel blindsided right now, Ethan, and really fucking confused. Why on earth would you tell me you love me before telling me that you don’t ever want to be married again?”
“Because I do love you. You’ve become someone I want in my life long-term. But you can’t tell me that you’re actually surprised by this fact, can you?”
“Well, you shouldn’t be surprised that marriage is something that I want. When I said I see my future with you and Oliver, I meant as your wife someday.”
“Look at what I do for a living, Amelia,” he says, raising his voice and fanning his arms out to the side. “I watch people fight and get nasty with each other, with the people they vowed to love forever. And my own wife and the mother of my kid walked out on him and me. Why on earth would I ever want to do that again?”
“So why even date me then?”
He takes a step closer, but I retreat slightly, making him pause. “Because I do care about you. I do love you. I couldn’t help but fall for you, and I want you in my life. I just can’t risk going through a divorce again. And I can’t do that to Oliver either. He’s already had one woman walk out on him...”
“So, we’re not worth the risk? Do you honestly think I would do that to you and Oliver? That I wouldn’t do everything in my power to make our relationship work after what I witness on a daily basis?”
“You’ve never been married, Amelia, or had a child of your own. You can’t possibly understand what’s going through my mind right now or why I feel this way.”
He might as well have slapped me across the face. “How dare you,” I grate out between clenched teeth. “I don’t have to have experienced the same things as you in order to be compassionate or to support you. All I’m asking is for you to pause for a moment before you throw away something really good because you’re scared.”
“I’m not throwing you away. I still want you. You’re just thinking too far into the future. Believe me, a piece of paper isn’t going to change how I feel about you. And I think over time, you’ll see that.”
“No. I want to think about my future, Ethan. I want to know that I’m investing time with someone who wants the same things I do. I want a family of my own, my own children to love and care for, and a husband that I promise to love until we take our last breaths. And you don’t want that, so what the hell are we doing?”
“We’re spending time together…”
“And I love the times when we’re together, I do.” I place my hands over my heart, trying to guard it against what’s happening. “But I want more eventually. I want a commitment. And I shouldn’t have to sacrifice that to be with you, Ethan. Is that what you’re asking me to do?”
“I’m committed to you. That’s not going to change.” He reaches up and pulls on his hair. “Can we just…can we talk about this later? This is…this isn’t how I envisioned this night going. You were supposed to come home with Oliver and me. I wanted to lie down next to you in my bed…” he says, his voice almost pleading now. And then he closes the distance between us, grabbing my hands and holding them over his heart. “You’ll see. Nothing will be different between us if we don’t get married one day. You might change your mind about needing that title.”
“Well, are you going to change yours?” I can literally feel my heart start to break as he stands there silently and doesn’t say a word. So I lower my voice, fighting back emotions threatening to bubble over right now. “I’ve done everything in my life to make others happy, Ethan, even helped other people repair their marriages, and I deserve to have one of my own. I want that, and I believe that people can be happily married for the rest of their lives. But if you can’t see that taking that risk with me is worth it, then I don’t want to waste any more of my time.” I pull my hands from his as he steps back, his entire demeanor shifting from pleading to resolute.
“This is what I can give you, Amelia,” he says coldly, flicking a switch right in front of me.
“Well, it’s not enough. I’m sorry. It’s not fair that you’re punishing me for Monica’s choices or using your experiences as an excuse not to want more for your life and Oliver’s. I would do anything for you two, and I’ve done nothing but show you that. But until you can see that and accept it, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”
“Amelia,” he whispers as I round the hood of my car and hop inside. But I don’t say another word, giving him only one last glance before driving away, breaking down the second I pull into my driveway, wishing I had never let him in.
I should have known better than to fall for the divorce lawyer across the complex, the one who doesn’t believe in marriage. But the worst part is, I fell in love with his son, too, and now the future I thought I saw has vanished just as quickly as it appeared.
