AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The image of the woman standing over her bed sent a chill down her spine. “Had a panic attack.”
“They can be pretty rough. It took me a long time to get my anxiety under control, and I still struggle sometimes.”
“I didn’t know you had anxiety, too.” Jason felt like more than just a coworker or someone she was interested in. He could understand her. An invisible bond connected them in a way a lot of people wouldn’t understand.
Jason shrugged. “I’m getting better at talking about it but it’s not always easy. I enlisted in the army right out of high school. Figured it would be a good career, carry me into my forties. Took me too long to realize that wasn’t what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Saw a lot of things that I’ll never be able to forget.” His gaze drifted past Cassie.
Cassie felt the urge to say sorry, to tell him she was sad he felt that way. But she hated it when people did that to her. She realized that she had no idea if Jason was at all aware of what she had gone through. Had he seen the papers? Had he put two and two together?
She didn’t need to know. So, she said, “Thanks for sharing that with me.”
“Welcome.” His smile warmed her more than the sun had. “If you ever want to talk about what’s going on, I promise I’m a pretty good listener.”
Cassie’s automatic response was to wave away the offer, but she wanted someone else’s advice. She didn’t know what to do anymore and she didn’t trust herself to make the right decisions.
“I have this… situation,” she said. “A friend needs help, but I’m not sure I can help. I’m not sure I want to. And I feel like that makes me a bad person.”
“Not necessarily.” His answer was easy and automatic. It loosened some of the worry in her chest. “Does helping your friend hurt you in any way? Does it make you uncomfortable?”
Cassie ducked her head and stared at the ground. “Yes.”
“But you’re still thinking about helping them? I think that makes you a good person.”
“Even if I don’t end up doing what they’re asking me to do?”
“A good friend will understand you might be at your limit. We all have buckets full of different kinds of energy. Physical energy. Emotional energy. Social energy. At any given time, they could be empty or full or somewhere in between for no reason at all.”
“That seems arbitrary and dumb.”
Jason threw his head back and laughed. “It is. But it’s how we operate. Or, at least, how some of us operate. Maybe you have to wait until one of your buckets fills up more.”
“What if my friend can’t wait?” Cassie asked. “What if there’s a time limit on helping?”
Jason twisted the corner of his mouth up while he thought. “You have to decide if you can still help them when your bucket isn’t full. Are the consequences of depleting your energy higher than the consequences of not helping your friend?”
It was Cassie’s turn to scrunch up her face. “I dunno.”
“Maybe you don’t have to take it on all by yourself. Is there someone else who can help?”
Cassie thought of the detective, who was so determined to solve the case. “You know, I think there is.”
Jason leaned back, clapped his hands, and held them out wide. “See? There you go. Problem solved.”
Cassie blushed. She felt vulnerable and silly and dumb. “I didn’t mean to turn your lunch break into a therapy session. I’m sorry about that.”
“I’m not.” Jason looked down at his hands and smiled. “I like talking to you.”
“Likewise.” Cassie smiled.
“Well, that’s good to hear.” Jason took a deep breath and locked eyes with her again. “I’ve been meaning to ask this for a while, but I was wondering if you might want to grab dinner with me sometime?”
Cassie’s blush deepened. She opened her mouth to answer that yes, she’d love to, but no sound came out. The image of the woman with a gaping hole in her chest returned, unbidden, to the forefront of her mind.
Jason caught the hesitation. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I thought—”
“Yes! I mean no.” Cassie smacked her hand against her forehead. “No, you did not make me uncomfortable. And yes, I would love to go to dinner with you sometime.”
Jason gave a nervous smile. “I’m feeling a but coming on here.”
