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Chloe’s smile stretched across her face and tears sparkled on her lashes, but they were happy tears now. Tears of utter, unadulterated joy. Her husband didn’t love her, but she was able to give him what he needed, and she would love their baby more than she’d ever thought possible.
“Did you know?” The question was thick with doubt, thick with despair. “Is that why you left?”
Chloe was sucked out of her moment of jubilation by the very real darkness of her husband’s emotions.
“Oh, no, Raffa.” She stood, and moved towards him, lifting her hands to his chest. He gripped her wrists, as though he wanted to pull them away, but instead, he held her where she was, held her close to him.
The words tumbled out of her, one after the other, just a jerk of sounds that she hoped made sense. “Raffa, I’m so sorry for what I did. I thought… I thought it was for the best. Leaving you, I mean. I was told I couldn’t have children. And I thought… I thought Amit would be enough, that you would accept him as your heir, but then you told me the truth about him and I knew I could never give you what you needed and so I left, but I had no idea! I was told I could never fall pregnant.”
He looked beyond shocked, of course. “When? When were you told this?”
“The morning I left,” she said, shaking her head. “Oh, I don’t mean that I lied to you. Only after a few months, I started to worry, to suspect something was wrong and I got tested. I needed to know. And the morning after we came back from the desert, the doctor called. Believe me, Raffa, if the results had been ambivalent, I wouldn’t have left. But with no possibility of giving you the heir you needed, how could I stay? This is impossible, Raffa. It’s a miracle. I can’t believe…”
“So you left me because you thought you couldn’t conceive,” he said, as though slowly piecing together a puzzle. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Chloe went to pull her hands away but he growled and instead wrapped them around his waist, before doing the same, locking her in his embrace.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He repeated.
“Because I thought you’d feel obligated to stay with me.” She dropped her gaze. “I know how much is at stake here – how much this baby would mean to you. I understand your duty to your kingdom, and the kingdom’s need for continuity. And I couldn’t bear the thought of locking you into marriage without being able to give you the one thing you needed from me.”
“The one thing I needed from you? Chloe,” he shook his head. “There is much I need from you, and a baby is lower on the list than you might think.”
She shook her head. “Sex isn’t enough either.”
“I don’t mean sex,” he promised, running his hands over her back.
“Then what? What do you want from me? I can offer you nothing, Raffa.”
“What about your heart?” His eyes flared when they met hers. “What about your kind, sweet heart?”
She gasped. “You guessed how I feel?”
“No.” He dropped his forehead to hers. “I hoped. I hoped when I had no reason, I hoped every night when I went to your room and stared at your empty bed and wondered where you were, and how you were. I hoped that you were missing me, that you loved me. And then you sent the divorce papers and I had my answer, yet still I hoped. And now I hold you in my arms and I am so close to having everything I want and need in life, but it all rests on you. Chloe, did you leave me because you wanted to? Did you leave me because you couldn’t bear to be married to me?”
“What are you talking about?”
“After the way I treated you, I would understand. I cannot believe the way I behaved. How I bossed you around and … how you must have thought and felt. I cannot believe I let my passion for you turn me into such a bastard. I wanted to change that – I wanted to show you that I could do better, but I knew it would take time. And you left…”
She sobbed and shook her head. “I told you, I left because you need an heir and I thought, up until a moment ago, that I couldn’t give that to you. I learned the truth about Amit only hours before discovering I couldn’t have a baby. I’d thought we might move on from the fact I couldn’t conceive – if that was the case – but only because of Amit. And when I realized he wouldn’t be able to act as your heir… what choice did I have?”
A muscle jerked in his jaw. “I hate that you ever though leaving me was a choice you should make.”
“You need an heir, Raffa. I understand that.”
“Yes. And you’re pregnant.”
She sobered, squeezing her eyes shut. “But that’s a miracle. I may still not be able to have this baby. Doctor Schultz told me that even if I could conceive, carrying to term would be difficult.”
Something like sorrow flashed in his gaze. “I’m so sorry that you have shouldered this worry alone, habibte. But I want you, Chloe. Regardless of whether we have a child together or not, I want a wife – I want my wife. And I want to be your husband.” He frowned. “God, a better husband than I have been. I want to be the husband you deserve. When you left, I was glad, you know, in some part of me, because it was what I deserved. I have treated you in a way that beggared belief and when you took yourself away I knew that I had been wrong, that I deserved your contempt and your hate.”
“I never hated you,” she whispered.
He arched a brow. “I seem to recall you saying that to me one night – and I deserved that too.”
“I hated how much I loved and needed you and how little you felt the same for me.”
“How can you say that? I spent every moment of every day thinking about you –,”
