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The movie couple are having breakfast and planning their future life together. Suddenly, a toddler comes out of nowhere, shouting ‘Mommy.’ I hope there was a time jump that I missed because the idea that kids can appear after a short make-out session is ridiculous, even for a romantic comedy.
Jenya has a wide smile on her face, her hands still in the prayer position. Now she looks more like a happy fangirl than a cult survivor, so I smile for her. And to make things even better, on my other side, I feel Tanya’s sweaty palm, her fingers resting comfortably between mine.
Chapter 21
My heart is beating so fast, I’m afraid I’m going to pass out. Last time it did this was when I tried to hold on to the cleansing ritual fluid for too long and it nearly spilled out of me.
I was in so much pain then and was so embarrassed, but now, it’s like the floor beneath me is made of soft clouds. I’ve never been so happy. I’ve also never learned so much in a day and the elation of all this knowledge going straight into me is undeniable.
There is, of course, a tiny, needle-sharp feeling reminding me that there’s no chance this will last. This world, like our village, is a balance of light and darkness, no matter how different Tanya makes it out to be. And my happiness will last until the moment that devastation comes my way to even things out.
In any case, right now, I’m happy. We’re coming out of the cinema, people chatting animatedly while they move at a snail’s pace. I’ve never seen so many people before. Crowds on top of crowds of mortals who are free to say and do as they please. It’s fascinating, but also terrifying. If I lose track of Tanya and Ben, I will never find them again. Everything here is too busy, too loud, too colorful, too much. I flip back and forth between loving and hating this world.
“Let’s go to the washroom.” Tanya takes my hand. “Ben, meet you at the Food Court? In front of Frenzy Eats?”
“Sure.”
“Did you enjoy the movie?” Tanya asks me as we make our way through the mass of people.
“I think so. I didn’t understand why they had to exchange saliva with their mouths. Seems unclean.”
“Because they were kissing. It’s how we express love,” she says. As she drags me forward, I notice there is a flattened patch of hair at the back of her head, similar to the one I get when I toss and turn in bed.
“Love,” I repeat, tasting a word that seems to mean a lot in this world and nothing much to me.
Last night, Tanya brought me a book. It was calledHistory of Civilization, and I looked through most of it before exhaustion claimed me. I’m not sure what I learned from it, but a lot of the confusing things about this world became clearer, allowing me to immerse myself in it even more. For example, to consider whether Tanya and Ben ‘love’ each other.
“Have you kissed Ben?” I ask as we get into the toilet, a room with stalls similar to the ones in the village, except these ones have doors and locks.
“Go pee,” Tanya orders instead of a reply. I obey after I notice the flush on her pale cheeks. It means either that she and Ben love each other indeed, or that she wants to love him and exchange saliva. I still think it’s gross, so I don’t push it. There are other things to learn about anyway.
On the way out, my stomach grumbles, and Tanya smiles at me, our conversation about Ben a thing of the past.
“I’m so excited that I get to introduce you to fast food. It’s one of those things that once you try, all other food tastes bland.”
“Oh, I’m a very fast eater. I had to be because the children would steal food off my plate,” I say. Sometimes, I put food away for the smallest children because they were never fast enough, which meant they would go to bed hungry. And while I knew I would get punished if Koschei caught me, I couldn’t listen to their quiet sobs at night, tossing from the pain in their empty bellies.
“You don’t have to be fast when you eat fast food,” Tanya says. “But you will want to devour it because it’s so delicious.”
We go to a place full of plastic tables and chairs; it reminds me of a massive dining hall with chaotic seating arrangements. Everyone walks around like ants and no one seems to be waiting for their portion or that of the table next to them. How do they regulate their following activities? Are we just going to join them, midway through the meal?
I open my mouth to say that it’s doubtful there will be any food left, when I see Ben sitting at a table with three colorful trays in front of him.
“So, we finally get to have Frenzy Eats together, huh,” Tanya says to Ben as she pulls out a plastic chair and points to it.
“Better late than never,” Ben replies. “Jenya, sit, I’ve already ordered for all of us.”
Oh. I’m supposed to sit on the chair. Unsure whether I should pull Tanya’s chair for her or do nothing, I simply follow Ben’s order and sit down.
The meal in front of me doesn’t look like any of the food I’ve had before. The little I had at Ben’s and Love and Err looked normal, albeit a bit too overspiced.
There’s no cutlery on the table and no water. If I have to swallow all the edible paper in front of me, it would have been nice to have something to wash it down. I wish I had scrubbed my hands better in the washroom. I will have to use them and they feel filthy.
“Okay, don’t panic,” Tanya says, as if she’s read my mind. “I’ll show you how to eat this. It’s called a burger.”
I watch as she unwraps a circular sandwich and explains all the ingredients inside. Some time later, I’m ready to dig in. There are also sharp, long potatoes and a drink that I’m supposed to drink through a straw. Tanya showed me different straws at her place of work, so I feel comfortable with them.
I bite into the soft bread and my teeth sink into the burger, a thousand tastes mixing in my mouth. I can taste salty, and sweet, and something slightly bitter and spicy. There are soft and crunchy bits and a lot to chew. I have never tasted chicken like this. It’s covered in a crispy blanket that makes it taste entirely different from the chicken I had back in the village.
